As wedding officiants, we spend a lot of time writing ceremony scripts, editing them and saying them out loud on wedding days. We know how important those words are and how much couples value their meaning. Which is why we’re firm believers that every couple should see their officiant’s ceremony script BEFORE the wedding day!
Your ceremony script should NOT be a surprise
We’ve had a number of couples book with us after their original wedding officiant refused to show them their ceremony script ahead of the wedding day. Understandably, that made these couples uncomfortable. So they chose to hire someone else after their original officiant told them, “You don’t need to see the script. It’s a surprise!”
If an officiant ever says that to you, RUN!
With Young Hip & Married, you will always have the option to see your ceremony script before your wedding day. In fact, your officiant will encourage you to look over the script and, if you’ve chosen our Custom & Creative Ceremony package, will design the script with you.
This is your wedding ceremony – and possibly the only wedding ceremony you are going to have in your entire life. So it should be all about you two! You should know what is going to happen and what is going to be said. You should be completely confident that the words spoken at your ceremony represent you two and your values.
As officiants, we want our couples to trust us and know that we are going to deliver a meaningful ceremony with words they believe in.
The worst case scenario: A wedding script that contradicts your beliefs
You may be thinking it’s no big deal if your officiant wants to keep the script a surprise. Who cares if they go on a bit too long or make a joke that flops?
But unfortunately, we’ve seen this go badly. While we hope no wedding officiant intends to misrepresent the couple they’re marrying, it’s easy for a few words to create a lot of unintended harm.
For example:
- An officiant could misgender you or your partner and spend the entire ceremony referring to you or your partner by the wrong pronouns.
- An officiant could thank your parents for being there when your parents aren’t in attendance or when you don’t have a relationship with them.
- An officiant could share wisdom about marriage that you don’t believe in, such as obeying your spouse or staying together until death parts you.
- An officiant could add religious scripture to your ceremony script that neither you or your partner believe in.
- An officiant could use traditional wording that contradicts the feminist language you preferred at your ceremony. They could say things like, “man and wife” or present you under a last name you’re not taking.
But if I read the ceremony script before the wedding, won’t that ruin the ceremony?
Absolutely not! In fact, reading the script ahead of time will help you enjoy your ceremony more because you won’t have to worry about what your officiant is going to say. Without that added stress, you can live in the moment and be present with your partner.
Even if you read the script ahead of time, it’s unlikely you’ll remember every single word. So it will still feel fresh and new on your wedding day. Plus, when those words are being read out at your ceremony, they take on a brand new meaning.
Don’t worry, there are still some elements of your wedding ceremony that you can keep secret. For example, if you write your own wedding vows, you likely won’t have shared those with your partner yet. It will be a wonderful surprise to hear their words for you for the first time and share the vows you wrote for them on your wedding day.
5 reasons to see your officiant’s script before your wedding day
You can rest easy knowing exactly what is going to be said at your wedding. By seeing the ceremony script ahead of time, you have one less thing to stress about on the big day. Trust us, when you’re worried about getting to your venue on time, looking good in your outfit and coordinating your vendors, one less thing to stress about is so helpful!
You will be confident that the words represent you two. The words spoken at your wedding ceremony should represent you two, your love, your values and your beliefs. You shouldn’t have to worry that your officiant will say anything that contradicts the commitment you’re making to one another.
You can remove anything you don’t want in the script. With all of our ceremony packages, you will be able to see your wedding script ahead of time, remove any parts you don’t want, and confirm everything is correct for your special day. Want to customize your ceremony script even more? Check out our Custom & Creative Ceremony Package where you can work with your officiant to craft and edit a personalized script for you two.
You ensure everyone is on the same page for your ceremony structure. Your ceremony script is not just the words that will be spoken; it also dictates the flow of the ceremony. For example, your officiant may have the processional, ring exchange and signing included in their script. You want to make sure both you and your officiant are on the same page about what is happening when.
You get to focus on your partner (rather than listening out for words that make your cringe!). The best reason to see your officiant script ahead of time? So you can be completely in the moment and embrace every emotion as you commit to your partner. Instead of wincing every time your officiant says something you don’t love, you can keep the focus where it’s supposed to be – on one another.
At the end of the day, we believe it’s important that our couples feel confident and represented in the words that are going to unite them in marriage. That’s why we believe in sharing our ceremony scripts ahead of your wedding day.
In the 10+ years that Young Hip & Married has been in business, we’ve received thousands of 5 star reviews. And not once has a couple said that their ceremony was any less special or impactful because they read the script ahead of time. In fact, we’re often told that couples (and their guests!) loved the ceremony because it represented their story and values so well.
When planning a wedding, you put so much thought into what you’re going to wear, what you’ll serve for dinner and what the decor will look like. So why not put some thought into the most important part of your wedding day, the ceremony when you actually get married? We promise, it will be the best wedding investment you make into your marriage!
