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Category: Tips & Advice

Discover Young Hip & Married’s expert tips, advice and guides on all things wedding ceremonies and elopements!

Writing a wedding speech can be a daunting task, especially if you’re nervous about speaking in front of a group. But it’s an awesome opportunity to let your nearest and dearest know how much they mean to you and how much you appreciate them celebrating the start of your marriage with you.

Traditionally, brides don’t give speeches. They sit quietly and listen while their dad, the best man and the groom give speeches. Brides were to be seen and not heard. But we’ve had enough of that. If you’re a bride who wants to speak at your own wedding – more power to you! We 100% support a bride being heard on her own wedding day.

Getting ready to write your bride or groom wedding speech? Awesome! We’ve got all the steps you need to write a killer wedding speech that will leave the room laughing, crying and applauding wildly by the time you drop the mic.

Decide on the logistics

Before you get to the nitty-gritty of speech writing, figure out some of the big picture issues. Who is going to be giving the speech? Are you speaking together or separately? If you’re giving two separate speeches, who is going first? When in the night are you giving the speech? How long will the speech be? What’s the tone going to be?

Start your wedding speech with some thank yous

This one is easy! You start your speech by giving a round of thank yous. Thank all of your guests for coming, thank your wedding party for supporting you, thank out-of-towners for making the trek, thank your parents for all their love, thank your new spouse’s parents for welcoming you into the family, thank special people who made the day possible, thank vendors, THANK THEM ALL! Or, y’know, thank who you want to thank.

giving a wedding speech at their wedding reception

Mention those who couldn’t be there

This step is optional, but if you’d like, it’s a great time to pay tribute to people who couldn’t be at your wedding. This could be important people who couldn’t physically make it, maybe they are unable to travel or sick. Or this could be people who have passed on that you want to honour on your special day.

Add a short & sweet anecdote to your wedding speech

Here’s the fun part: now you get to gush about your boo! Include a short story about how you met, when you knew you were in love or a funny tidbit from wedding planning. The idea here is that you want to share a cute story, nothing embarrassing. And you’ll want to keep it short, especially if you and your spouse are both sharing little stories. You’ll also want to double check with anyone else giving speeches that you’re not all re-telling the same story.

bride and groom wedding thank you speech at their wedding reception

End with your partner

You made it! You’re at the end of your speech. Now all you have to do is address your partner and cue the waterworks. This is where you let your brand new husband or wife know how happy you are to be married to them, how much today has meant to you or anything you weren’t able to fit into your vows.

Practice makes perfect

Especially if you’re nervous, rehearse your speech. Stand in front of the mirror, ask someone in your wedding party to lend an ear or recite your speech to your dog. And if you’re planning on doing the speech together and splitting up the different sections, you’ll definitely want to practice with your partner. If there are parts of the speech you want to keep as a surprise for the big day, that’s totally fine. Just rehearse the rest together so you know who says what when.

bride and groom wedding speech at their wedding reception, tips for writing your wedding speech

Mix it up

You know what we say – your wedding, your way! So if you’re really nervous about giving your speech in front of so many people, maybe you can give a speech at your rehearsal dinner in front of a smaller audience instead. If you’re scared you’ll be all teary by the end of the speeches, forget the tradition of the couple speaking last and do your speech first. And if the idea of a speech totally terrifies you, skip it all together! You can give out cards to your loved ones or talk to them one on one and let them know how much you appreciate them making your wedding day magical.

Last minute dos & don’ts for writing the best wedding speech ever!

  • DO: write it down and don’t try to wing it. Have a paper copy so you’re not frantically trying to find your phone only for it to die when you’re halfway done your speech.
  • DON’T: wait until you’re too drunk to give your speech. If you think you’ll be sloshed by 8:00pm, give your speech by 7:00pm.
  • DO: feel free to respond to other speeches. If you go last, you can totally improvise a bit and thank you dad for his sweet words or try to defend yourself in the story your best man just told.
  • DON’T: hog the mic. If you and your partner are giving the speech together, divide it up so you can both speak equally.
  • DO: be courteous of your guests’ time. Especially if you have a lot of speeches planned, try to keep yours short and to the point.
  • DON’T: share anything too embarrassing, too intimate or too inside joke-y. Trust us, you’ll regret it when your nana comes up to you later and asks you to explain that story from the time you had a pregnancy scare in Vegas.

CHECK OUT MORE OF OUR WEDDING SPEECH RESOURCES:

Are you planning to give a speech at your wedding? For more wedding planning advice, visit our blog. And to learn more about our team of wedding officiants and book an officiant for your wedding, get in touch! 

 

written by Riana Ang-Canning

Back in the day, wedding ceremonies were not the best examples of equality and a feminist wedding ceremony was unheard of. Sadly, many of the outdated traditions have continued into modern day weddings.

For example, want to know why brides wear veils over their faces? It’s to hide her from her future husband who, having never met the bride before the wedding day, wouldn’t have the chance to run away if he found out his bride was ugly. Romantic, right?

So we say it’s time to bring in the equality and insert some much-needed feminist power into your wedding ceremony. Afterall, you and your future spouse are equal partners in marriage and in life – it should be that way during your wedding ceremony too.

Here are seven ways to have a feminist wedding ceremony Of course, these are only ideas. You can use these as a jumping off point to come up with your own unique ceremony plans. You can use one of these ideas, all of them or none of them! It’s completely up to you – feminism is about choice and we want you to be empowered to choose and create your wedding, your way.

1 – Change Your Walk

Photo by Will Pursell Photography
Photo by Will Pursell Photography

Traditionally, a bride will come down the aisle with her father and he will give her away to the groom at the end of the aisle. If that gives you the icks, change it up! Walk in with both your parents or walk in solo. Shine the spotlight on the groom and give him his own walk down the aisle. You could even walk in with your partner; we love the idea of you two coming down the aisle and into your marriage together. For more non-traditional (and feminist!) processional ideas, check out our blog post on unique processional orders.

2 – Let the Bride Speak First

Photo by Emily Nicole Photos
Photo by Emily Nicole Photos

At most weddings, the groom gets to speak first. He’ll say his vows first and the officiant will turn to him first when asking for the rings, if he takes the bride to be his wife, etc. But who says the guy has to go first? Change the tradition and opt to have the bride read her vows and answer the officiant’s questions first. This is a subtle but powerful way to create a more feminist wedding ceremony.

3 – Get Rid Of Non-Feminist Language from Your Wedding Ceremony

Photo by Emily Nicole Photos
Photo by Emily Nicole Photos

Traditionally ceremony scripts are filled with non-feminist language. You may have not even noticed how cringe-worthy some of the following lines sound:

  • “Who gives this woman to be married to this man?”
  • “Do you promise to honour and obey your husband?”
  • “You may now kiss your bride.”
  • “I now pronounce you man and wife.”

Instead of those traditional lines, why not choose one of these updated alternatives or create your own?

  • “(Parents), do you support your child’s decision to join together in holy matrimony with (name), and do you vow to receive (him/her) as a member of your family from this day on?”
  • “Do you promise to support and encourage your partner?”
  • “You may now seal your marriage with a kiss.”
  • “I now pronounce you… married!”

4 –  Don’t Wear White

Photo by Erica Miller Photography
Photo by Erica Miller Photography

Traditionally, brides wore white to signify their purity. And the fancy, expensive white dresses came into fashion after Queen Victoria wore one in her 1840 marriage. But there’s no need to uphold this tradition if you don’t want to! Wear what makes you comfortable. If you’d rather come down the aisle in a blue jumpsuit, combat boots and a leather jacket – go for it! This is your day and you should be able to choose your own outfit.

5 – Bring Equality to the Wedding Party

Photo by Jelger and Tanja Photographers
Photo by Jelger and Tanja Photographers

At most weddings we’re used to seeing an equal number of girls stand behind the bride as there are boys standing behind the groom. But who says you have to follow that? There are no rules for a wedding party. As the bride, you can have three bridesmaids while your husband has five groomsmen. You can have male attendants on your side and the groom can have female on his side. You can nix the wedding party all together! It’s totally up to you.

Another way to bring equality into your wedding party is to keep the costs similar for bridesmaids and groomsmen. Many bridesmaids end up spending lots of cash buying the dress, shoes, makeup, hair, gifts and more while the groomsmen only pay for their suit rental. Try your best to skip or skimp on some of these expenses so your female attendants aren’t under a heavy financial burden.

6 – Put Female Voices into the Wedding Ceremony

beth

We’re all for getting more female voices into the ethos and having those voices heard. What better time to do that than at your feminist wedding ceremony? If you’re planning to ask people to do readings at the ceremony, invite sisters, aunts, moms, nieces or female friends to do them. Choose readings written by strong female writers or readings that focus on your commitment to equal partnership.

7 – Consider Your Last Names

Photo by Erica Miller Photography
Photo by Erica Miller Photography

Many brides are expected to take their husband’s last name, as this is tradition. In fact, some couples even get addressed as “Mr. and Mrs. John Smith” assuming both the husband’s first and last name. If that makes you uncomfortable, know that there are lots of other options to taking your husband’s last name. You can hyphenate your last name (and invite your husband to do so as well). You can keep your last name. You can both take your last name instead of his. You can create a new hybrid last name. You can go through your family tree and find an ancestral last name that you both adopt. There are lots of options!

Check out this blog post all about last name options and this post about changing your last name in British Columbia. 

written by Riana Ang-Canning

What are you doing to create a feminist wedding ceremony? Let us know and don’t forget to book your wedding officiant for your ceremony!

Guest blog post on wedding catering by Truffles Fine Foods

Wedding catering involves so much more than simply food. Before you hire your wedding caterer, ask these 10 questions to ensure you’re getting exactly what you need.

One of the most memorable parts of any celebration with loved ones is the food. Whether it’s a seated meal or trays of canapés, food is what draws people together. Wedding catering is no exception! When thoughtfully planning the various details of a wedding, it’s easy to become overwhelmed.

  1. What is included in each catering package?

Any experienced wedding catering company will be able to provide a variety of catering packages tailored to suit different budgets, tastes, and styles. Some packages include the bare necessities while others are jam-packed with no detail overlooked.

Wedding catering is about far more than the food your guests will indulge in. You also need to consider whether table linens, cutlery, dishes, and glassware are included. Other costs, such as cutting the cake, coffee or champagne service, gratuities, service charges, setting up, tearing down, and even garbage and recycling fees may be à la carte add-ons – which can quickly cause your budget to balloon.

Photo by Jumi Story
Photo by Jumi Story

  1. What’s in the fine print?

Like any contract, the agreement you make with your wedding caterer is no different. Read the fine print and make sure you understand fully what you’re signing up for. Have your wedding caterer review the contract with you and make sure they clarify the details. Ask about the payment schedule (such as a deposit – ranging from 25% to 75% of the total cost) and the refund and cancellation policies. Other important details, such as extra charges and gratuities, should be discussed as well as they may or may not be included.

  1. Where will the food be prepared, and is an on-site kitchen facility necessary?

Depending on the style of meal you’re planning to serve, your caterer may prepare the food in advance and transport it to your venue, or they may prepare it on-site. Confirm whether or not the caterer requires an on-site kitchen facility. Creating a makeshift kitchen onsite often involves a greater cost, so clarify this detail with your wedding caterer as you review the budget.

Photo by Jumi Story
Photo by Jumi Story

  1. Can the menu be adapted to include vegetarian, vegan, gluten-free, or other dietary requirements?

What’s good for one guest may not be good for all guests, and vice versa. It’s very likely that a handful of your guests will have unique dietary requirements. Accommodating those requirements is seen as thoughtful and considerate. When inviting your guests, ask what dietary restrictions they have. Discuss those restrictions with your wedding caterer to decide what options will be available for those guests.

  1. Where is your food sourced?

The source of your menu’s ingredients is about more than global impact. Where the ingredients come from can also affect your budget as some caterers will charge extra for premium ingredients. Hoping for local or seasonal items? They may be more affordable but, again, a caterer may charge extra for their efforts to source with specific vendors. Decide in advance if this is important to you and whether or not you’re willing to pay extra.

Photo by Taryn Baxter Photography
Photo by Taryn Baxter Photography

  1. What kind of licenses and insurance will you arrange?

Few weddings are complete without cocktails and dancing. Keep in mind that licenses, such as for serving alcohol or SOCAN, are a legal requirement for weddings that are held in public venues. Other requirements may vary depending on your municipality. Ask your caterer if they can arrange these for you or point you in the direction of someone who can. If your caterer is supplying alcoholic beverages, confirm that your wedding caterer has both a business license and a liquor license.

  1. Are meals for children and other wedding vendors included and, if not, how are they priced?

Your photographer, videographer, and DJ (and their assistants!) need to eat too. It’s a common courtesy to offer each of them a hearty meal. If you’ve encouraged guests to bring their children, the munchkins also have to eat. Some caterers may charge a reduced per-plate price for wedding vendors and underage guests, so confirm this with your caterer before they provide you with an estimate.

Photo by Wonderlust Photography
Photo by Wonderlust Photography

  1. What will the catering staff wear?

Black bowties at a luau-themed wedding would be as out-of-place as Hawaiian-print shirts at a formal affair. Ensure your wedding caterer’s staff is dressed appropriately for the style and ambiance of your wedding.

  1. What do you suggest?

Wedding catering companies do more than simply cook food and prepare meal. Chefs are artists and many relish the opportunity to highlight signature dishes or offer their suggestions for perfect pairings. If you’re unsure about any aspect of your menu, your wedding caterer is your best resource. Remember that they’re working from a place of experience and knowledge.

One of the best and most fun parts of wedding planning is deciding on the menu, something most couples do with a tasting. When your wedding caterer does a tasting with you, it’s a great opportunity to discuss your menu options in person, decide on a possible menu theme, and discuss any potential food restrictions. Be sure to ask your caterer if the tasting is complimentary or if there’s a charge for two (which is often deducted from the final invoice).

vancouver-photographer_095-by-caroline-ross
Photo by Caroline Ross
table-decor-by-ainsley-rose
Photo by Ainsley Rose

  1. How far in advance to I need to confirm guest numbers and menu details?

Confirm with your wedding caterer how much notice they require with a final guest tally, and then provide your guests with an RSVP date based on that conversation. Your caterer will also want to have all your menu details approved and finalized at the same time. This step is vital to the caterer to ensure that the freshest ingredients are available while allowing for ample time to source any hard-to-find items that may be on your menu.

NEED CATERING FOR YOUR WEDDING?

Truffles Fine Foods is an experienced caterer for weddings of all styles and sizes. If you can imagine it, our team can create it. Our staff is dedicated to providing lasting memories through our unique and inspiring menus. Please contact us today to discuss options for your next event!