Category: Tips & Advice

So you’ve heard of a wedding rehearsal but you have some questions. Great, that’s why we’re here! Below we’ll answer all of your ceremony rehearsal questions and give you our top tips for a successful wedding rehearsal plan. Plus, don’t miss the Ultimate Wedding Rehearsal Timeline & Checklist! 

Ready? Let’s rehearse!

Do we need to have a wedding ceremony rehearsal?

In short, yes. It’s important to have a wedding rehearsal before your ceremony.

A lot of people complain saying, “What’s the point of a rehearsal? I know how to walk in a straight line!” But a wedding ceremony rehearsal is about so much more than just walking. Sure, you might be able to walk straight, but do you know what part of the music you’ll enter to? Who is holding the rings and when they get passed to the officiant? Where you’ll gather before the processional? How you get your bouquet or vow book?

A rehearsal is about everyone learning where they need to be, what they need to do and when before the big day. It’s an opportunity to ask questions, solve problems and ensure everyone is on the same page. Remember: You only get one shot at your wedding ceremony. Wouldn’t you rather practice so you can nail it and not be stressed on the big day?

Some couples worry about holding a rehearsal because they think it will ruin the magic of the wedding ceremony. We assure you, it won’t! While we encourage couples to look at their ceremony scripts ahead of time, you won’t be going through the whole script word-for-word during your rehearsal. You won’t say your vows and your officiant won’t say their entire officiant speech.

Think of a wedding rehearsal like going through the stage directions; you are figuring out the choreography and blocking (aka movement) of the show but not reading all the lines.

The only time you might be able to skip a wedding ceremony rehearsal is if you have a very simple, small elopement planned with no wedding party, no aisle and no special additions, like readers or unity traditions. But if you have a wedding party, children in your wedding, nervous parents, or just a lot of questions and concerns about your upcoming ceremony, it’s a good idea to plan for a wedding rehearsal.

When should we have our wedding rehearsal?

It used to be that wedding rehearsals were held the Friday night before your Saturday wedding. But with couples getting married every day of the week and venues booking up, you can’t always ensure your rehearsal will be the night before. You may have to hold it a few days or even weeks in advance.

We think the best time to hold a wedding rehearsal is 2 days before your wedding. That way, out of town wedding party members have arrived and everything for your ceremony should be ready to go. At two days out, you’re close enough to your ceremony that no one will forget what they learned at the rehearsal but you also have the night before your wedding free to relax (or take care of any last minute tasks).

Some couples opt to hold their wedding rehearsal on the same day as their ceremony, reasoning that everyone will be available, they’ll have access to the venue and no one will forget what they learn. But we don’t suggest having your rehearsal on your wedding day. Even if you’re getting married in the evening, your wedding day is likely going to be very busy and emotional. It can be stressful to try and squeeze in a rehearsal. The rehearsal may even get skipped if other pre-wedding plans, like hair and makeup, are running late.

Don’t forget to book your wedding rehearsal time and date as soon as you can (see our rehearsal timeline for more details) so you can lock in your vendors and confirm availability with your wedding party.

Where should we hold our wedding rehearsal?

Ideally, you’re able to hold your wedding rehearsal at the same place where you’re having your ceremony. Practicing at the actual venue lets you work out all of the unique quirks of your space, such as figuring out where the wedding party will gather before the processional or navigating the stairs. You can decide on exact placements and timing, instead of trying to approximate the size of your venue.

It’s also helpful to have your wedding party, officiant and planner come out to the venue for the rehearsal so there are no surprises on the big day – such as realizing that there’s a road closure in front of the building or your event space is best accessed through the back entrance.

Unfortunately, it’s not always possible to rehearse at your ceremony venue. In that case, we still encourage you to hold a wedding rehearsal off-site. Even in a different space, it’s still useful to walk and talk through your ceremony, answer questions, and ensure everyone is on the same page.

All you need is a large enough space to walk through the ceremony, such as a backyard, basement or condo party room. You can get creative with your surroundings, such as using chairs to mark where the aisle is. If your space is a different size than your venue, make sure to point this out to your wedding party when relevant, such as reminding them that the real aisle is longer so they’ll have more time to walk down.

Who runs the wedding rehearsal?

Your wedding officiant should run your wedding rehearsal in tandem with your wedding planner or wedding coordinator. These vendors have the most experience leading rehearsals and ceremonies, and will be the main vendors on the big day. They know what to do and they can answer any questions. Usually the planner will lead the “walking” part of the rehearsal (processional & recessional) while the officiant leads the “talking” part (ceremony at the front).

Since planners and officiants are experienced at running rehearsals, they can be the authority in the room. Many couples find it hard to corral their wedding party, ask everyone to pay attention or put their foot down on decisions. After all, no one wants to boss their friends around!

This is why it’s so important to confirm rehearsal availability with your wedding officiant and wedding planner. Having that experience in the room will help you feel confident going into your wedding day.

Learn more about how wedding rehearsals should be run with our Ultimate Wedding Rehearsal Timeline & Checklist!

Wedding rehearsal plan: 6 tips to make your rehearsal successful & stress-free

Now that you know when and where to have your wedding rehearsal, plus who’s going to run it, here are some final tips to ensure everything goes as smoothly as possible.

1. Have the details planned out ahead of time. Think through ceremony details – such as the order of your processional and where everyone will stand at the end of the aisle – in advance of your rehearsal. That way, you and your partner can make the decision you want rather than having to take everyone’s opinions into consideration at your rehearsal.
2. Book your wedding rehearsal as soon as you can. Some venues have set rehearsal times (e.g. if the wedding is Saturday at 6:00pm, the rehearsal is always Thursday at 4:00pm) but many wait to book rehearsals until closer to the date so they can leave their calendar open to book more weddings. Others will let you temporarily book a time/date, understanding it may get cancelled if they receive another booking. If this is the case, we still suggest you take the temporary booking and confirm with your attendees. If the venue does cancel, everyone will still be available and you can rehearse elsewhere. Regardless, make sure you ask your venue when you’ll be able to book your rehearsal so you don’t miss out.
3. People > place. Ideally you’re able to rehearse at your venue with all of the necessary people in attendance. However, if the date the venue offers for your rehearsal doesn’t work for you, your wedding officiant and wedding planner, or your wedding party, prioritize people over place. It’s better to have your officiant and planner available to run the rehearsal off-site and as many wedding party members attend as possible than try to run it yourself with just half your wedding party at the venue.
4. Plan for 1 hour. Plan for your wedding rehearsal to be one hour long. While the actual rehearsal should only take 30-45 minutes, an hour gives you some buffer time for late arrivals, to ask questions or to re-run anything you don’t feel confident about.
5. Start at the front. One of the oldest rehearsal tricks in the book is to start at the front by figuring out where everyone will stand during the ceremony. You then walk through the recessional, sending everyone back up the aisle. Now that you’re at the beginning of the aisle, you’re in position for the processional and already know where you’ll stand when you get to the front. This can be a useful method rather than starting chronologically with the processional, as people may get to the front and not know where to go.
6. Bring your marriage licence! Worried you’re going to forget your marriage licence on the big day? Bring it to your wedding rehearsal and hand it off to your wedding officiant, who can be tasked with bringing it to the ceremony.

Remember: You only get one shot at your ceremony. Feeling confident about what you’re doing, how you’re doing it and when you’re doing it is key.

With your wedding rehearsal questions answered, it’s time to book your wedding officiant who will run your rehearsal and lead your ceremony on the big day. Meet our team of officiants and book yours today! 

If you’re planning a wedding ceremony, you’re likely planning a wedding ceremony rehearsal. (And if you’re not, here’s why you should be.) But what actually happens during a wedding rehearsal? What do you need to bring, who should be there and what exactly are you rehearsing? Find out in our ultimate wedding rehearsal timeline and wedding rehearsal checklist!

PS: Don’t miss our wedding rehearsal FAQs: Learn when and where to have your wedding rehearsal, plus top tips for a smooth rehearsal for everyone!

Wedding rehearsal checklist: What you need to run a wedding rehearsal

Luckily, the wedding rehearsal checklist is quite short. There are only a few things you need for a smooth and successful wedding rehearsal!

Space

While getting to rehearse at your actual ceremony venue is ideal, it’s not always possible. If you’re not able to access the venue for your rehearsal, you’ll need another space to rehearse. Any large space where your group can gather – like a backyard, condo party room or even a park or parking lot – will do!

1 hour

While your wedding rehearsal may not take an hour, it’s a good idea to plan for at least an hour. That leaves some time for people to ask questions or to wait for any late-comers.

Your wedding officiant & wedding planner

Ideally both your wedding officiant and wedding planner (or coordinator) are able to attend your wedding rehearsal and run it together. As the ceremony experts, they’ll be able to facilitate your rehearsal and answer any questions.

Everyone involved in the wedding ceremony

Everyone who is involved in your wedding ceremony should attend your wedding rehearsal. This would be you and your partner, your wedding party, and anyone who is part of the processional or who has a job during the ceremony. This may include parents, grandparents or other loved ones who are walking down the aisle, readers and ushers. If you have any children in your wedding ceremony, you’ll want to invite their parents along too!

Another important person to invite would be a non-professional musician, such as a friend who will be playing the violin as you walk in or an uncle who has agreed to be the ceremony DJ. While we don’t recommend hiring friendors, if you have asked some friends or family to help out with music or other elements in your ceremony, invite them to the rehearsal so they have a chance to practice their role.

Wedding rehearsal timeline

Below is the timeline you can follow, from six months to the day of, to ensure your ceremony rehearsal goes off without a hitch!

3-6 months before the rehearsal:

Book your wedding rehearsal date & venue

The first step in your wedding rehearsal timeline is booking a time, date and place for your rehearsal. Ideally, you’re able to book your actual ceremony venue for the rehearsal and have the rehearsal a couple of days before your wedding. Chat with your ceremony venue to see if this is possible. If not, you’ll want to book or plan for another space and/or date.

Check availability with attendees 

While booking your rehearsal space and time, you’ll want to make sure that date works for as many people involved in your ceremony as possible. This includes your wedding officiant, wedding planner, wedding party and anyone with a role in the ceremony.

Plan and book your rehearsal dinner

Once you have the date of your wedding rehearsal set and have confirmed everyone’s attendance, it’s a good idea to begin researching options for your rehearsal dinner (assuming it’ll be right after the ceremony rehearsal). You can keep things casual, such as a backyard BBQ at your house, or treat everyone to a fancy night on the town.

2-4 weeks before the rehearsal:

Confirm attendance

In the weeks leading up to your wedding rehearsal, re-confirm attendance with your wedding officiant, wedding planner, and everyone else who is scheduled to attend. You may also need to re-confirm with the venue and finalize reservations for your rehearsal dinner booking. Ensure everyone knows how to get to your rehearsal space and what time they’re supposed to be there.

Gather supplies

While you don’t need much more than the space and the people to run a wedding rehearsal, you may have some supplies you need to bring that are specific for your wedding. For example, you may want to bring your aisle runner, to practice walking on it, or the wagon that your ring bearers are going to sit in as they come down the aisle.

Make ceremony decisions

This is the part of the wedding timeline when you want to make all of your important ceremony decisions. Don’t wait to make these until you’re at your rehearsal! You’ll want to think about the processional order and how you’ll come down the aisle. You’ll also want to finalize other ceremony elements like readers, unity traditions, music, etc. If you’re not sure what decisions you need to make, take a look at your ceremony script and speak with your wedding officiant or wedding planner.

The day of your wedding rehearsal:

The day of your ceremony rehearsal is finally here! Check out this wedding rehearsal timeline that you can follow to ensure everyone knows what is going to happen on the big day:

Meet with your wedding officiant & wedding planner

Before the rehearsal gets underway, take a second to meet with your wedding officiant and wedding planner to ensure they have everything they need to run the rehearsal. You can quickly assess the space and make any adjustments, such as moving around chairs to create an aisle.

Introductions & overview

It’s time for the wedding rehearsal to start! Your wedding officiant and planner should introduce themselves to all of the attendees and explain how the rehearsal will go. This way, everyone understands what’s happening.

Walk-through with your wedding planner

Depending on your space and the vendors you’re working with, they may opt to do the “walk-through” or the “talk-through” first. The walk-through is generally led by your wedding planner and involves all of the movement during your ceremony; think of it as the blocking or choreography of the show.

Together with your wedding party you’ll walk through:

• Where you’re gathering before the processional
• The order for the processional
• How you’ll walk down the aisle (including musical cues, speed and spacing)
• Where you’ll stand at the front
• How you’ll walk back up the aisle for the recessional
• Where to go after the recessional

Ideally you’ll have already made all of the decisions, such as the order your wedding party enters in, before your rehearsal. The walk-through is just a chance to try it out, make any needed changes and pass instructions onto your party members.

Talk-through with your wedding officiant

Once you and your party have reached the end of the aisle, it’s time for your wedding officiant to take over for the “talk-through” part of the wedding rehearsal timeline. Your officiant will give a quick overview of the ceremony, going through the order of events so everyone knows what to expect on the big day.

As they outline the ceremony, your officiant will specifically call out any moments when things change or actions must be taken, so everyone knows what to do and when. These include:

• When the bouquet is handed off and who will hold it
• Who is holding the rings, when they’re given and if they’re handed to the officiant or the couple
• Who is holding the vows and when they are given to the couple
• When readers are called up and where they’ll stand for their readings
• When and where unity ceremonies are being done
• When and where the signing of the marriage licence is being done, and when witnesses will be called up

PS: Don’t worry, your wedding officiant won’t be reading your entire ceremony script nor will they ask you to say your vows during your ceremony rehearsal. That will all be saved for the big day!

Run-through

Once you’ve completed the walk-through and talk-through with your officiant and planner, it’s time to run it! By now, everyone should have an idea of what is happening, when it’s happening, what they need to do and where they should be. The run-through is your chance to put everything you’ve learned into action and work out any kinks.

During the run-through, you’ll go through all of the motions of the walk-through and talk-through but without (or with less) direction from your wedding planner and wedding officiant. For example, instead of telling you what to do, your planner may just say “Music starts” which is your cue to begin processing down the aisle.

You may have to run it a few times before you’re able to do it without help. By your final run-through, everyone should be confident in what they’re doing and you shouldn’t have to stop the ceremony to ask questions.

Questions

After one or two run-throughs, and with everyone feeling good about their role in the ceremony, it’s time to start wrapping up your wedding rehearsal. Your wedding officiant and wedding planner should open up the floor for any final questions and share any last minute advice or reminders.

Rehearsal dinner

Congrats, you’ve reached the end of the wedding rehearsal timeline! Now that you’re fully rehearsed, it’s time to head off to your rehearsal dinner to celebrate.

Don’t forget to leave yourself some buffer time between the ceremony rehearsal and rehearsal dinner in case things take long, the rehearsal starts late, or you have to clean up the space. You’ll want to be able to focus on your rehearsal and not be worried about rushing to a dinner reservation.

Check out our wedding rehearsal FAQs for more rehearsal tips! 

Did you know a wedding rehearsal is included in our Custom & Creative Ceremony Package?

In addition to a custom script written just for you, your Young Hip & Married wedding officiant will facilitate your wedding rehearsal and make sure everything is running smoothly.

Learn more and book your ceremony package today!

Looking to add a unity tradition to your wedding day? Want a special keepsake from your ceremony? Or just a big fan of the beach? All good reasons to consider a sand ceremony!

What is a sand ceremony?

A sand ceremony is a unity tradition or ritual that can be added to a wedding ceremony. During the sand ceremony, there are two small vessels, each filled with sand, and one larger vessel, that is empty. The couple getting married will each pick up one of the smaller vessels of sand and pour them into the larger vessel, combining the grains of sand together.

This ritual symbolizes the joining of the couple and beginning of their marriage. It can also symbolize the joining of two families (more on how to incorporate family members into this ritual below). Many couples choose to use two different colours of sand, to represent two individuals coming together. As the colours mix, it signifies that the two individuals have become one.

Sand ceremonies first became popular in the 80’s as an alternative to the unity candle ceremony. As some venues don’t allow flames – and others, like a backyard on a windy day, make it hard for candles to stay lit – the sand ceremony offered a good alternative. It also provided a keepsake, as newlyweds were able to take the sand-filled vessels with them and display it in their homes.

Who should do a sand ceremony?

While sand ceremonies may have started as a religious ritual (since their predecessor, unity candles, have Catholic origins), you do not have to be religious to incorporate a sand ceremony into your wedding day. This special ceremony is open to all couples!

Couples who want to add a unity tradition to their ceremony may want to consider a sand ceremony. It’s a beautiful way to represent the coming together of two people or two families. It also allows a couple to take a more active role in their ceremony and can be fun for guests to witness.

Couples who want a special keepsake from their wedding ceremony may also want to add in this sand ritual. Of course, you will leave your ceremony with rings, a signed marriage licence and a happy spouse. But if you also want a physical memento to display in your home and cherish for years to come, a sand ceremony is a good way to achieve that.

Lastly, if you have a special connection to sand, a sand ceremony may be perfect for you. For example, maybe you got engaged on the beach or grew up on the coast.

What materials do you need for a sand ceremony?

To hold a sand ceremony you need:

1. Sand (duh!): Most couples choose two different colours of sand but this isn’t required. You can collect sand from a local beach or buy coloured sand from a craft store.
2. Two vessels to hold the sand at the beginning of the ceremony: These vessels are usually smaller and more simple than the larger vessel that will hold the sand at the end of the ceremony.
3. One larger vessel to pour the sand into: Make sure that this vessel is large enough to hold the full contents of both small vessels. This larger vase or vessel is usually see-through, so you can see the sand mixing, and generally more ornate than the smaller vessels, since it’s the keepsake piece.
4. Something to close and safely transport the larger vessel: Don’t forget about these items! You’ll want to make sure you have a stopper or lid to keep the vessel of sand from spilling. You may also need materials to safely pack it up and get it back to your house, such as bubble wrap, a box, etc.

In addition to materials, you’ll also want to come up with a plan for how to pull off your sand ceremony. You’ll need to know how the sand and other materials are getting to the venue, who is arranging them at the front, what they will sit on, and how they’ll get back home. You’ll also want to discuss with your wedding officiant how and when the sand ritual will happen during your ceremony. More on that below!

When does the sand ritual happen during a wedding?

There isn’t a specific time when a sand ceremony needs to happen. The timing is flexible and you can speak with your wedding officiant about when makes the most sense for your ceremony.

Typically you’ll want to do the sand ceremony around the same time as you exchange rings, as part of an overall unity tradition, since both symbolize your new bond. The ring exchange usually happens after your vows and before your kiss and the pronouncement of you as a married couple.

Sand ceremony script outline

During the sand ceremony portion of your wedding, your officiant will explain to your guests what’s happening and facilitate the ritual for you. Here’s an example of a sand ceremony script your wedding officiant might follow:

Wedding officiant: “Bella and Edward will now symbolize the joining of their two families with the joining of sand. Bella and Edward, I invite you to receive the sand from your parents and pour it together into this vase.”

Edward and Bella receive small vases of sand from their parents. They pour that sand into a larger vase on a table in front of them.

Wedding officiant: “Just as these grains of sand can never be separated and poured again into the individual containers, so too will your marriage and your family forever be intertwined.”

Unity sand ceremony variations

Not only are sand ceremonies beautiful traditions but they leave lots of room for creativity and personalization. Here are a few variations you may want to make with your sand ceremony:

• Use sand that you’ve collected from special places. For example, you may want to use sand that you’ve collected from past vacations, the beach where you got engaged, or the coast where you grew up. This can be a subtle yet significant way to personalize your sand ritual.
• Involve your children. Rather than just having the newlywed couple pour sand, you could invite the whole family to join you. For example, if you’re blending a family, you might ask each child to pour sand into the large vessel to symbolize your family coming together.
• Involve your families. If you like the idea of the sand ceremony representing two families joining together, you can involve your parents, grandparents, siblings or other loved ones in the ritual. For example, you could have your families each fill the smaller vessels of sand, symbolizing the love and care they poured into you, before you and your spouse pour them into the larger vessel together.
• Choose a special vessel. Rather than just pour the sand into a regular vase or mason jar, why not choose one with special meaning? You can get a vase engraved with your names and wedding date or use a family heirloom.
• Turn your vase into a piece of art. Some couples choose to pour their sand into a glass vase and then bring it to a glassblower, who then turns it into a sculpture, dish, ornament or other piece of art. Some glassblowers even offer workshops where the newlywed couple can take part in creating their sand ceremony art piece.

What other unity ceremonies can we add to our wedding?

Not sure a sand ceremony is for you? Luckily there are lots of unity ceremonies and traditions you can choose from. Other unity ceremonies include:

• Ring warming: Guests are invited to “warm” the couples’ rings before the ring exchange with their love and well wishes. This usually happens before the ceremony, with the rings available for guests to see and touch, or during the ceremony, as the rings are passed from guest to guest.
• Handfasting: In a handfasting ceremony, the newlyweds’ hands are bound together by cord to symbolize their commitment and a literally “tying of the knot.” The cords can then be taken home as a keepsake.
• Unity candle: Each member of the couple takes a small candle and uses it to light a larger candle together during a unity candle ceremony. This is historically a religious wedding practice but can be done in secular or non-denominational weddings too.
• Beer blending: For couples who enjoy an adult beverage, try this twist on a unity ceremony. Each person will take a different type of beer and pour it together into one glass, blending the beers. This can also be done as a wine blending for vino lovers. Both lead perfectly into a wedding ceremony toast!
• Community vow: If you’d like to incorporate your guests into your union, why not add a community vow? In this ritual, your officiant will read a vow out to your guests and ask them to say “we do” if they agree to support your marriage. It’s a nice way to get guests involved and feel the love all around you.
• Anniversary capsule: Some couples choose to put together an anniversary capsule as their unity tradition. This usually involves putting special items into a box, such as wine and love letters, to be opened on your first wedding anniversary.
• Tree planting: For couples with green thumbs, why not plant a tree during your wedding ceremony? As most ceremonies don’t take place in the forest, this is usually done on a smaller scale with a potted tree that couples can plant together. You can then bring the tree home as a houseplant or plant it locally in your area and watch it grow over the years.
• Paint blending: Another unity option for artsy couples is paint blending. Similar to a sand ceremony, each member of the couple will have a jar of paint and pour them together on a canvas to create a multi-coloured drip painting. Just be careful not to spill any paint on your wedding outfits!
• Or make up your own unity ceremony! If there’s something special you’d like to do at your wedding ceremony to symbolize your commitment and unity, why not add it in? Talk it over with your wedding officiant to find out how to best incorporate it into your wedding day.

Whether you decide a sand ceremony is right for your wedding, choose another unity tradition, or skip the rituals altogether, you want to plan a wedding ceremony that feels authentic to you.

And the best way to do that? With a Young Hip & Married wedding officiant and ceremony package, of course! Find our more and book yours today! 

If you’re planning a wedding, you might be thinking about wedding rings. While rings for weddings aren’t mandatory, many couples do choose to exchange rings during their ceremony and wear them regularly throughout their marriage.

But is there more to wedding rings than that? Let’s dive into everything you need to know about rings for weddings!

What are rings for weddings? 

Rings for weddings are the rings exchanged between the couple getting married during their wedding ceremony. These rings are exchanged as a token of a couple’s love and commitment to one another. During the ring exchange portion of the ceremony, the wedding officiant will lead the couple through ring statements as they put a ring on each other’s fourth finger on their left hand. These rings are also referred to as wedding bands.

After the wedding, wedding rings are usually worn by the couple to represent their bond and signify that they are married. Keep in mind that rings for weddings and the traditions around a ring exchange vary by religion, culture and country. While the wedding ring being worn on the fourth finger of the left hand of both partners is common in North America, it may not be everywhere in the world.

Is a wedding ring the same as an engagement ring?

Usually a wedding ring and an engagement ring are not the same; they refer to two different rings. The engagement ring is usually given when a couple gets engaged. Traditionally it is a diamond ring given from a male partner to his female partner when he proposes, but of course engagement rings can come in any style and be given and received by all partners.

If you or your partner already have an engagement ring, you can choose to have a separate wedding ring or simply use your engagement ring as your wedding ring. Conversely, you may choose to skip the engagement ring and only have a wedding ring. For partners who choose to have both rings, they will usually wear their engagement ring on their right hand during the ceremony, so their left hand is free to wear their wedding ring.

Do rings for weddings need to match?

Not necessarily! You and your partner do not have to get identical or matching wedding rings. And your wedding ring does not need to match your engagement ring. However, many couples do prefer that their rings at least “go together” if not completely match. This might mean getting rings in the same style or same material.

Types of rings for weddings: 

There are many different types of rings for weddings varying greatly in style, material and cost. No matter your preference, you can find (or create!) a ring that works for you. Three common types of wedding bands are simple wedding rings, traditional wedding rings and modern wedding rings.

Simple wedding ring examples

A simple wedding ring is just that, simple! Imagine a thin band of metal with no decorative jewels or fancy carving. These simple wedding bands are usually gold, silver or platinum. Because they’re more simple, they’re usually less expensive (though this will depend on the type of material used and where they are purchased). These simple rings work best for couples who don’t like flashy jewelry or prefer for their wedding rings to be understated.

Traditional wedding ring examples

The traditional wedding ring is a classic yellow gold band. However white gold, silver, platinum and even diamond encrusted bands are also seen as quite traditional. Historically, gimmel rings (rings that interlock) were exchanged in the 16th and 17th Centuries in Europe, while poesy rings (rings with poems inscribed on them) were popular during the Renaissance period.

Modern wedding ring examples

Modern wedding rings can take any style, shape or material – what best denotes them as modern is a unique factor different from the simple and traditional wedding bands of our parents’ day. A modern wedding ring may have coloured stones, decorative patterns, two tones or come in a new material, like rose gold, tungsten or wood.

Some people who plan to still wear their engagement ring after their wedding choose a curved wedding ring that fits around the stone in their engagement ring. Some couples even choose to design and create their own rings for weddings or have their wedding rings engraved.

When should you buy the wedding rings? 

Weddings rings should be purchased three to four months before your wedding ceremony. This way, you have time to resize the ring, if it doesn’t fit, and ensure it has arrived and is what you wanted well before your ceremony takes place.

You’ll probably want to start shopping for wedding bands four to five months before the ceremony, so you have lots of time to browse and try rings on. You can head to your local jeweller, a chain of jewelry stores or search online. Since both partners will be wearing these rings, it makes sense to shop together and find wedding rings you both like. Remember, they don’t have to match!

Who carries the wedding rings during the ceremony?

Traditionally, the Best Man carries the wedding rings during the ceremony, handing them over to the wedding officiant or couple before the ring exchange. However, it’s not mandatory that the Best Man take on this role. You may prefer to have another member of the wedding party carry them or give the role to a special loved one, like your parents or grandparents.

If you’re having a child ring bearer carry the rings down the aisle, it’s best to have the bands passed off to an adult in the wedding party. That way, your ring bearer doesn’t have a chance to lose the rings or play with them during the ceremony.

What happens during the ring ceremony (aka ring exchange)? 

During the ring ceremony, also known as the ring exchange, your wedding officiant will explain to your guests the importance of wedding rings and what they symbolize. They will then ask for the rings and have you hold each other’s. You will then exchange rings – Partner 1 putting a ring on Partner 2’s finger then vice versa – while repeating a ring statement after your officiant.

For example:

Wedding officiant: “Monica and Chandler will now exchange rings as a symbol of their love and devotion for one another. May we please have the rings?”

Rachel hands Monica Chandler’s ring. Ross hands Chandler Monica’s ring.

Wedding officiant: “Monica, please place the ring on Chandler’s finger and repeat after me: ‘Chandler, with this ring, I gladly marry you,'”

Monica: “Chandler, with this ring, I gladly marry you,”

Wedding officiant: “and join my life to yours forevermore.”

Monica: “and join my life to yours forevermore.”

Wedding officiant: “Now Chandler, please place the ring on Monica’s finger and repeat after me…”

For more about ring exchanges, including ring warming ceremonies and ring statement options, check out this post!

Rings for weddings: 5 top tips

1. Try on rings for weddings in person. While you may prefer to order your wedding rings online, it’s worth trying on rings in person, especially if you’ve never worn rings before. Get a feel for the weight of different materials and figure out what style you like best. Your opinion may change drastically based on what the ring looks like on your finger vs the photo online.
2. Consider alternatives if you’re not ring wearers. Rings for weddings are not mandatory! You don’t have to exchange and wear wedding rings if you’re not ring people. For example, if you work in a job where you’re not allowed to wear metal rings, you may want to choose a silicone ring or a wedding necklace instead. Some couples even opt for tattoos instead of wedding rings.
3. Insure your rings if you’re worried. If you’re worried about loss or theft and your wedding rings are quite valuable, get them insured. You may be able to get insurance through your jeweller or bundle it with your home or car insurance.
4. Leave your wedding rings with your marriage licence before your wedding. Nervous you’re going to forget to bring your rings on the big day? Leave them on top of your marriage licence! Odds are you’ll remember either the rings or the licence, and you’ll want to bring both to your ceremony!
5. Don’t give the rings to your ring bearer until the last minute. Whether you’re trusting your wedding bands to a child ring bearer or an adult member of your wedding party, don’t give them the rings until right before going down the aisle. Any earlier and you’re just asking for them to get lost or forgotten!

Now that you know all you need to know about rings for weddings, let’s start planning the rest of your wedding ceremony! Check out our ceremony packages and book yours today! 

written by Riana Ang-Canning
feature image by Deanna Rachel Photography

With couples getting more and more creative with their wedding ceremonies these days, you may have heard of a wedding ceremony toast and been curious. What exactly is it and should you add one to your ceremony? Plus, if you do, what goes into pulling off the perfect toast at your wedding ceremony?

What is a wedding ceremony toast? 

A wedding ceremony toast is, quite simply, a toast given at the wedding ceremony! While wedding toasts and speeches are usually reserved for the reception, you can incorporate a short and sweet champagne wedding toast to the newlyweds during the wedding ceremony too.

A wedding ceremony toast can be as simple as, “Let’s all raise our glasses to the newlyweds and wish them a lifetime of happiness! Cheers to Jim and Pam!”

When should the toast at the wedding ceremony happen? 

A wedding ceremony toast usually comes at the very end of the ceremony, right before or as part of the pronouncement of the couple. It’s the big celebratory ending, when everyone can raise their glasses to the brand new newlyweds!

Who should give the wedding ceremony toast?

Because this toast is usually part of the marriage pronouncement of the couple, it makes sense to have the wedding officiant give the ceremony toast. They can seamlessly transition from presenting the couple to leading the toast.

You could also choose to invite a special guest up to give the ceremony toast. This might be a great way to involve your parents in the ceremony or other loved ones. We have also seen couples decide to give the toast themselves, raising a glass to all of the wonderful guests who have joined them to celebrate!

Remember: A wedding ceremony toast is just a short “cheers to the couple/guests” moment. It is usually a sentence or two and not a full wedding speech, like you might hear at a wedding reception. Make sure whoever is giving this toast is aware that this moment should be short and sweet; they can save their stories about your childhood for their reception or rehearsal dinner speech!

5 reasons to have a wedding ceremony toast

1. A wedding ceremony toast is memorable and unique! There’s a good chance your guests have never seen one before and won’t soon forget the awesome toast at your ceremony.
2. You can customize the toast. While a champagne wedding toast might be the most traditional option, you don’t have to serve champagne. Pass out shots of tequila, mini bottles of your favourite liquor, juice boxes or tap a keg of your favourite craft beer.
3. Start the party early. Nothing gets guests in a celebratory mood better than a ceremony toast! Let your guests know that your wedding is going to be a whole lot of fun when you bring cocktail hour to the ceremony.
4. End your ceremony with a bang. If you’re looking for an exciting way to end your ceremony, a wedding toast is a great way to do just that. It definitely puts a big exclamation point on your ceremony!
5. A wedding ceremony toast is a nice choice if you’re not having a reception. If you’re only hosting a ceremony or having an intimate elopement, including a toast in your wedding ceremony is a nice touch. It’s a chance for your loved ones to celebrate with you and raise a glass, since they won’t get to at a reception.

Of course, just because you’re having a wedding ceremony toast doesn’t mean you can’t have more toasts and speeches at your reception (if you’re having one). No guest will object to drinking delicious beverages in your honour more than once!

How to pull off a champagne wedding toast at your ceremony 

While a champagne wedding toast – or wedding toast with your beverage of choice – may sound like a lot of fun, there are quite a few logistics that go into it. Check out our advice below to pull off the best wedding toast at your ceremony!

Keep it small

Wedding ceremony toasts work best with small groups. It’s a lot easier to get champagne flutes to 20 people than it is to 200! That’s not to say it’s impossible to do a toast with hundreds of guests at a ceremony, but it does get more complicated. The last thing you want to do is be stuck standing at the altar, waiting for 10 minutes while servers get glasses to every single person.

Figure out how drinks will get where they need to go

One of the big logistical problems you’ll need to solve in order to execute a ceremony toast is getting the drinks there and back. You’ll need to think about:

• How are the drinks getting to the ceremony venue and staying cold?
• When do guests get their drinks? Where or who do they get them from?
• What about the couple and wedding party? Where and when do they get their drinks?
• Where do empty cups/glasses/bottles/cans go afterwards?
• If the couple and wedding party have to recess back up the aisle after the toast, do they do so with their glasses or will someone collect them?

Some couples opt to have drinks available at the beginning of the ceremony, such as beer cans in a cooler that guests can pick up and bring to their seats. While this eliminates the need to hand out drinks mid-ceremony, it does mean that drinks could get warm, guests could start drinking before the official toast, and some guests may forget to pick up their drinks.

Instead, you may choose to have drinks distributed during the ceremony. This is less work for guests and ensures everyone gets one at the right time. However, this can be distracting if you don’t have a good time for it to happen during the ceremony. It can also take a long time if you don’t have enough people handing out drinks.

On top of the guests, you also have to consider the wedding party (if they’ll be standing at the front) and yourselves. You probably don’t want to hold cans of beer or glasses of wine as you come down the aisle and say your vows! How will you get your drinks in a quick and discreet way?

There’s no easy answer to these logistical questions. Our best advice is to think through the possible options and speak with your venue and vendors (more on that below). Because each ceremony is different, the right answer for a 12 person ceremony in your living room will be different than a 200 person ceremony in a hotel ballroom.

Plan something easy to drink

While a champagne wedding toast is traditional, it might not be the best option for your ceremony. Perhaps it’s easier for your guests to receive cans of craft beer or pre-mixed cocktails in bottles. If you do want to do a bubbly toast, consider having the champagne flutes pre-filled to save time.

You’ll also want to think about what guests are drinking out of. Plastic flutes and glasses may be easier to transport than heavy drink ware. Plus, plastic won’t shatter like real glass will if something gets dropped.

Lastly, you’ll want to consider your guests. While scotch may be your drink of choice, how do your guests feel about it? Will they happily toast to your marriage with a sip of Macallan or will there be a lot of grimacing faces and untouched glasses? You also want to consider guests who don’t drink alcohol, both adults and children. Will you serve a non-alcoholic beverage for them to toast with?

Discuss your toast plans with your venue and vendors

Before you get too far in your wedding toast planning, you’ll want to loop in your venue and ceremony vendors. Your venue has final say over whether a wedding ceremony toast can happen. They may require you to obtain a liquor licence in order to hand out alcoholic beverages. They may also have rules about open containers or using glass in their space.

Your vendors will also need to be made aware of your plans as they are likely the ones who will facilitate the drinking part of your toast. It may be up to your wedding planner, coordinator or venue waitstaff to figure out how drinks make it from the fridge to your guests’ hands. Plus, if your vendors have planned wedding ceremony toasts before, they may have some valuable advice for you!

Cheers to you for planning a personal wedding ceremony you and your guests will never forget! Don’t forget to check out our other wedding planning resources and get in touch to book a wedding officiant who will help you plan the most creative and custom ceremony ever! 

written by Riana Ang-Canning
feature image by Clint Bargen Photography

Are you planning to have wedding readers at your wedding ceremony? If so, you’re going to want to forward them our best tips below. But first, check out how to choose the perfect reader and our favourite readings in weddings below!

For the couple getting married: How to choose the best wedding readers

Before we dive into tips for those doing the readings in weddings, how should a couple go about choosing a wedding reader to start with?

Step 1) Chat with your wedding officiant

As you and your officiant are designing your wedding ceremony, let them know you’re interested in including readings. You can discuss together how many readings you’d like and when they should happen in the ceremony.

Step 2) Select readings

Some couples like to select the wedding readings first and others prefer to select the readers first or even let the readers pick their own readings. If you want to choose the reading or have some say over it, check out our favourite wedding readings below for inspiration!

Check out this post on how to choose the best reading for your wedding!

Step 3) Select readers

Now that you’ve thought about your readings, it’s time to choose the readers! There are three things you’ll want to consider here:

• Choose readers who can do the job: This means you want to select people who are reliable, good at or at least comfortable with public speaking, and physically able to do the reading (so probably not an infant).
• Choose readers who mean something to you: A wedding reader is a position of honour and the people you choose to speak should be special to you. This may be a close friend, family member or someone you couldn’t include in your wedding party, like a grandparent.
• Match the reading to the reader: If you’ve already selected your readings, now it’s time to match them with your reader candidates. For example, you might not ask your eight year old niece, buddy from college and 78 year old grandpa to all read the same kind of thing.

Step 4) Have a back up plan

While no couple wants to think of a worst case scenario, it’s always good to have a back up plan. If for some reason your reader can’t do the reading on the big day, what do you want to do? You can remove the reading from your ceremony, ask another friend or family member to do it, or even have your wedding officiant read it (we have lots of experience with readings!).

12 tips for wedding readers

So you’ve been asked to do a reading at a close friend or family member’s wedding? Awesome! If you’re feeling nervous or just want to make sure you nail it, read on for our 12 tips below:

1) Wait to be asked

Like most roles in weddings, it’s usually not your place to volunteer or ask for the position outright. It’s up to the couple getting married to decide if they’re going to have readers and then who those readers might be. Of course, if they come to you and ask what role you’d like to have in their wedding day, you can offer to be a reader.

But please don’t send an unsolicited email with your favourite readings and a reel of your past public speaking work!

2) Get clear instructions on the reading

Once you have been asked to be a reader, it’s your job to get very clear instructions on how best to fulfil your role. While the couple or their wedding planner may provide some of this info for you, make sure you know:

• Will the reading be chosen by the couple or by you?
• If you’re choosing the reading, do they want to sign off on it? (If not, can their officiant sign off on it?)
• If you’re choosing the reading, how long should it be and what vibe or sentiment are they going for?
• When in the ceremony will you be reading?
• Where will you stand to do your reading?

It’s also helpful for wedding readers to attend the wedding rehearsal to get a very clear idea of when and where things will happen. This is another situation where it’s a bit awkward to invite yourself to the rehearsal (as that usually means an invite to the rehearsal dinner too), so hopefully the couple has already thought to invite you!

3) Practice, but don’t memorize

It’s very important that you practice your wedding reading. Practice reading it often and out loud so you’re comfortable with it. You may even want to read it in front of a few people to get feedback on your delivery.

But what you don’t want to do is try and memorize the wedding reading. The last thing you want is to freeze on the big day because you thought you had your reading memorized but all of a sudden your mind is blank!

4) Have a hard copy of the wedding reading

Since you’re not memorizing your reading, you want to have a hard copy of it for the ceremony. Even if you are comfortable with the words, it’s good to have the reading to reference.

Ensure that your hard copy is printed or written onto a piece of paper, card or book that will look nice in photos (so not a torn sheet or a napkin!) and is very legible. Even if the couple or wedding planner says they’ll have a printed version of the reading for you, it’s always best to bring your own, just in case.

Lastly: Don’t read off your phone! Not only do you risk technology failing (batteries die all the time!) but it just looks tacky.

5) Dress your best

As wedding readers, all eyes will be on you for a small portion of the ceremony. You’ll also be in wedding photos and videos, so want to look polished and put together. Adhere to the wedding dress code and ask the couple if they have anything specific they want or don’t want you to wear (e.g. they may ask you to wear the same colour as the wedding party or request your favourite hat stay at home).

You also want to be comfortable. Depending on the logistics, you may need to walk from your seat in the ceremony to the front and stand while doing your reading. This means an outfit (and shoes!) that you can comfortably walk and stand in. This may also mean water-proof makeup if you’re prone to tears!

6) Be prepared

In addition to dressing for the role, wedding readers need to do a few other things to prepare for the big day. Make sure you get a good night of sleep beforehand and don’t arrive hungover or without your voice thanks to a night of drunken karaoke.

On the day of the wedding, arrive early so you don’t have to stress about finding parking or getting to your seat. Get yourself some water, use the facilities and double check that nothing has changed with the ceremony schedule.

7) Have a back up plan

No wedding reader plans to bail on their reading but things happen! Just in case you get sick or forget your reading at home, have a back up plan. Email your reading to someone else and have a friend on stand-by to read in case you can’t make it (though the couple getting married will have final say on this sub).

8) Be yourself

The couple asked you to be one of their wedding readers for a reason! Yes, you should practice and read what they’ve selected for you, but you don’t have to be a completely different person. They asked you – not a professional speaker or a monotone robot.

If you’re known as the ham of your friend group and the couple has selected a funny reading, go ahead and be funny! If you’re a cryer and feel emotional during the reading, shed a tear or two.

9) But don’t steal the spotlight!

Yes, you should be yourself… but this moment is not about you. It’s the couple’s big day, not your chance to be the centre of attention or work on your stand-up routine. Keep the focus where it should be during your wedding reading – on the couple getting married!

10) Take a deep breath and slow down

It’s only natural that you’ll have some nerves as you make your way to the front of the ceremony venue and turn to face the hundreds of guests waiting to hear your reading. So before you dive in, take a moment. Inhale deeply, ground yourself and remember who this reading is all about.

And slow down! As wedding officiants, we’ve heard way too many nervous wedding readers race through their words when the nerves get the best of them. Assuming you’ll be a bit nervous, plan to speak even slower than normal. Trust us, it will sound like the perfect speed!

11) Follow up with a thank you

Usually the newlywed couple will reach out to you to thank you for doing a reading in their wedding. But it’s always nice to send a thank you of your own! Even a quick text or email to say how much it meant to you to be included in their big day will put huge smiles on their faces.

And if you’re looking for a sentimental wedding gift idea, why not frame a beautiful copy of your reading? It’s the perfect way for them to remember their wedding day (and their thoughtful wedding reader!).

12) Remember what this moment is all about

It’s easy to get in your head about your wedding reading but at the end of the day, this wedding is all about the couple getting married. They chose you for this role not just because you’re a great speaker, but because you’re someone important to them.

Remember: They selected a meaningful reading, with words they wanted shared on their special day by someone very important to them. That’s a huge honour.

Bonus: How to say no if you’ve been asked to read at a wedding but don’t want to

What happens if a couple asks you to do a reading at their wedding but you really don’t want to for whatever reason? Here’s how you let them down gently:

First, take some time to really consider their request. If you’re nervous, could you practice enough to get over your fears? Could you do it if it was a shorter reading or if you shared the reading role with a friend?

If the answer is still no, let the couple know as soon as you can so they can make other plans. Tell them you thought it over, and while you’re so honoured they asked, you truly don’t feel you’re the right fit.

If the push back, politely hold firm. If they ask for your input, you could offer other roles you might be better suited to (like helping with DIYs before the wedding) or suggest other people who might be more comfortable doing a reading. At the end of the day, you’re doing everyone a kindness by not committing to a role you don’t feel you can fill.

Our favourite readings in weddings

Need some wedding reading inspiration? Check out our list of wedding readings, scripture, sayings, wedding prayers, blessings and more!

• Our Top 10 Readings for Weddings
• Wedding Ceremony Readings from Songs
• Romantic Wedding Ceremony Readings 
• Wedding Ceremony Readings from TV & Movies
• Wedding Ceremony Readings from Literature
• Offbeat Wedding Ceremony Readings
• Alternatives to 1 Corinthians 13 for Your Wedding
• The Best Wedding Prayers & Blessings for Your Wedding Ceremony
• 33 Wedding Love Quotes to Include in Your Wedding Ceremony

CHECK OUT MORE OF OUR WEDDING SPEECH RESOURCES:

• 4 Mother of the Groom Wedding Speech Samples
• Father of the Groom Rehearsal Dinner Speech Samples
• How to Write Your Wedding Speech as the Mother of the Bride
• How to Write Your Wedding Speech as the Father of the Bride
• How to Write an Incredible Best Man Speech
• 5 Maid of Honor Speech Examples
• 12 Tips for Wedding Readers
• The Ultimate Wedding Toast Guide
• How to Write A Killer Bride or Groom Wedding Speech

A wedding reading is just one small part of your wedding ceremony. To make sure your ceremony is the most meaningful and memorable part of your day, check out our ceremony packages and meet our team of officiants! 

Written by Riana Ang-Canning
Feature image by John Bello Photography

ATTN: wedding vendors! We are so excited to let you know about an opportunity to access free DEIA (Diversity, Equity, Inclusion and Accessibility) education through the wonderful folks at Altared. Keep reading to learn what events Altared is hosting and how you can register to attend.

What is Altared? Altared is a space for wedding vendors who want to change the wedding industry. Note, Altared is not a membership group; vendors can participate in whatever way serves them best.

Check out our interview with Altared’s co-founder Elisabeth “Beth” Kramer to learn all about Altared and how they’re impacting the wedding community.

PS: As we talked about in our recent blog post on finding LGBTQ+ friendly wedding vendors, it’s up to us wedding vendors to educate ourselves and ensure we’re providing the most safe, welcoming and supportive spaces for our couples. So don’t miss out on this chance to get some great education at no cost!

And bonus: All of the events are virtual – meaning you can tune in from anywhere!

“In 2023, Altared is hosting free, virtual Q&As for wedding vendors about diversity, equity, inclusion, accessibility, and sustainability in the wedding industry.” – Altared PDX

To learn more about the events and register to attend, check out the event info below!

Reconsider Your Inclusivity Norms About Wedding Clients and Coworkers

When: Wed, February 22, 2023, 4:00 PM – 5:00 PM PST

With: Shannon Collins

What: “Join Altared and non-binary, queer, Autistic, and disabled wedding photographer Shannon Collins in this free, virtual one-hour Q&A about what we mean when we talk about “inclusivity.”

Topics will include how mandatory pronoun sharing can be harmful, why labeling ourselves as a “safe space” can do more harm than good, and how by saying things like “we welcome everyone,” we’re not including anyone (or including people whose values don’t align with ours).”

Reserve your free spot for Feb 22 here! 

Who Is Your Wedding Business Still Alienating?

When: Wed, March 29, 2023, 4:00 PM – 5:00 PM PDT

With: Taylor de la Fuente

What: “Join Altared and professional copywriter Taylor de la Fuente in this free, virtual one-hour Q&A about the language that is (and isn’t) on your wedding business website.

Topics will include how to keep improving your intake form including for polyamorous clients, which populations you might not be thinking of, and language to use on contracts, marketing, and Instagram to attract clients who align with your values.”

Reserve your free spot for Mar 29 here!

Wedding Instagram: Make Your Account Sustainable and Accessible All Season

When: Wed, April 26, 2023, 4:00 PM – 5:00 PM PDT

With: María del Mar Oliva

What: “Join Altared and social media manager María del Mar Oliva in this free, virtual one-hour Q&A about developing Instagram habits that serve you and your wedding business.

Topics will include how to create a schedule you can stick to, actually having fun, and what to do about TikTok.”

Reserve your free spot for Apr 26 here!

To learn more about Altared: 

• Check out their website
• Follow them on social media
• Sign up for their newsletter
• And stay tuned for more virtual and in-person events!

Thanks so much to Beth and her team at Altared for putting on these incredible events and letting us know about them. We hope to see you there! 

Let us be the first to say that it sucks that we have to write a post about finding LGBTQ+ friendly wedding vendors. This shouldn’t be an issue and “queer-friendly” should be the bare minimum – all vendors should be supportive, welcoming and celebratory of all couples.

And it certainly shouldn’t be on queer couples to have to do the extra work of figuring out if the people they want to hire for their wedding day actually support their love!

So as much as it sucks that this issue still exists, we want to help make all couples feel welcome, respected and safe. Bottom line: Your love deserves to be proudly celebrated! You should not have to hide or minimize any part of yourself on your wedding day. And every vendor who gets to be a part of your day should believe that and help you celebrate it.

While this post is written to help LGBTQ+ couples find inclusive vendors, it’s also applicable for wedding vendors and for straight couples too. There are lots of things allies can do to ensure every wedding we work on, attend or host is welcoming to all people.

One more thing before we dive in: Research was conducted for this post but we are not experts and don’t claim to speak for all LGBTQ+ couples. We at Young Hip & Married always have more learning to do and are very open to any feedback. If you see something we could be doing better, we would appreciate it if you could let us know!

Ask for recommendations: Queer-friendly vendors know other queer-friendly vendors! 

One of the best ways to find LGBTQ+ friendly wedding vendors is to ask for recommendations. For example, if you’ve already hired a queer or queer-friendly photographer, ask them to recommend a queer-friendly florist! Many LGBTQ+ friendly vendors or vendors who are part of the LGBTQ+ community know other vendors who also belong to and/or support the community and would be happy to put you in touch.

You can also reach out to your own queer community, particularly if you have any friends or family members who were recently married. Who did they hire and how was their experience?

Many wedding databases will also have lists of queer-friendly or queer-owned vendor businesses. These lists may not be exhaustive, but they can give you a good starting place. Keep in mind that not all wedding databases give couples the ability to search for inclusive vendors and some still support and promote non-inclusive vendors.

Does this wedding vendor have a history of working with LGBTQ+ couples?

A great way to find out if a wedding vendor supports and celebrates LGBTQ+ weddings is to look at their history: Have they worked with queer couples before? Of course, a vendor who is just starting out may not have as much diverse experience. But for more established vendors, this is a great way to check.

To learn about a vendor’s history with queer weddings, scan their website and social media channels. Do they work with and show off diverse couples? Are LGBTQ+ couples represented? Do the photos or stories they share look like weddings you would want to be a part of?

This goes beyond tokenism – it’s about true representation. Queer couples and weddings should be a part of this vendor’s regular work, not just something they talk about during Pride Month.

For more on representation, check out this awesome interview with one of our elopement photographers, John Bello!

What do other queer couples say about this vendor?

If you can’t get a personal recommendation, the next best way to find out about a vendor is through their reviews. Many vendors will post reviews on their website or social media channels. You can also look up the vendor’s profile on Google or on vendor databases, like The Knot or Wedding Wire, where reviews get posted.

Look through the vendor’s reviews and see what other couples have to say about them. Particularly, look to see if any reviewers mention queer weddings or identify as LGBTQ+. Of course, not all queer couples will identify themselves as queer in their review, but some might.

Does this wedding vendor work with and/or employ LGBTQ+ staff?

Another way to determine if a vendor is going to support your union is to look at the people they work with. Is their business queer-owned or do they have queer people on staff? If so, can you request to work with a queer person for your wedding? While no one is required to out themselves, you may find this information on a company’s About page or in their staff directory.

For smaller or solo businesses that don’t employ staff, do they have a history of working with queer vendors? Many businesses have a preferred vendor list or will share photos or stories of collaborations with other vendors. From there, you may be able to find out if they partner with queer-owned or queer-staffed businesses.

At Young Hip & Married, we are very proud to currently have 9 queer folk on our team. One of our queer officiants, Beth, shared with us why officiating fellow LGBTQ+ weddings is so special to her.

Does this vendor use inclusive language?

As wedding officiants who write scripts and speak at ceremonies, language is very important to us. We understand how inclusive language can help marginalized people feel welcome in spaces they were traditionally excluded from.

Below are a few questions to ask yourself when assessing a potential vendor’s language. You can do this by scanning their website, emails or social posts.

• Do they use heteronormative language? For example, everything is based on the “bride and groom” instead of the “couple” or “newlyweds.”
• Is all of their content bride-centric? Sadly, some vendors will only address the bride and refer to the wedding as her day.
• Do they give you a place to share your pronouns? And do they respect and use the pronouns you’ve shared?
• Do they share their own pronouns? While sharing pronouns should not be required, it can be a good sign if a vendor shares their own.
• Is their language up to date? Using terms that are current to the LGBTQ+ community may demonstrate that the vendor is actively engaged in the LGBTQ+ community and improving their language as they learn.

For more on the importance of language, check out this post about inclusive language changes you can make at your wedding ceremony.

Gut check: How do you feel about this wedding vendor?

At the end of the day, only you can evaluate your own comfort level with a vendor. Not only should you feel safe and comfortable, but you should feel excited to have this person and their business be a part of your special day.

If you’re still not sure, take a scroll through the vendor’s social media and website. When you look at their photos and read their words, how do you feel? Visit their blog or About page: Do their values align with yours?

If you’re still not sure, feel free to reach out to the vendor and ask them some questions. Of course, this is not always a safe option, and it can be very uncomfortable or triggering. If you’re unsure about how the interaction will go, that may be your gut’s way of letting you know this vendor is not for you.

Wedding vendors, let’s do better! 

Wedding vendors, we have work to do.

It should not be on queer couples or any marginalized couples to have to do the extra work of figuring out what businesses will celebrate and support them. As allies, we need to ask ourselves: How can we make our businesses and services more welcoming, safe, inclusive and comfortable for all couples?

What on-going education can we enrol in? Is there a conversation we can be a part of to help shift our industry? How can we be more open to feedback and making the needed changes? Can we commit to creating safe spaces and providing safe resources to our couples? How can we share our values more openly and ensure our actions follow those values?

Here are a few places to start:

• Create an inclusive ceremony environment with these tips by Officiant Beth
• Follow these tips (provided by fellow vendors!) to make our industry more safe and welcoming
• Get educated and find support through industry-shifting spaces, like Altared
• Engage in the act of unlearning and stop assuming with wisdom by Equally Wed

If you have more ideas or feedback to share, we’d love to hear it: Leave us a comment below or get in touch. Let’s work together to make the wedding industry a safer and more supportive space for all couples in love!

When it comes to planning a wedding, most couples know they need to book a venue, a photographer and a caterer. And they know they need someone to marry them, but who? For couples looking for a personal ceremony without a specific religious angle, a non denominational wedding officiant might be the perfect fit.

So what is a non denominational wedding officiant and what kind of ceremonies are they right for? Find out below!

But wait, what is the meaning of officiant?

Before we dive into non denominational wedding officiants, let’s clear up what we mean by officiant. An officiant is a licensed person who can marry you and your partner during your ceremony. Learn more here!

What is a non denominational wedding officiant? 

A non denominational wedding officiant is perfect for couples who want a meaningful and personal wedding ceremony that is not under any specific religious institution. Depending on the couple and the officiant, a non denominational ceremony could still include some spiritual or religious practices.

Technically the term “non denominational” refers to a person or thing that is religious (usually Christian) but not under a specific denomination. For example, you may have heard of non denominational churches that are broadly Christian, but not a specific sect of Christianity, such as Catholic, Anglican, Lutheran, etc.

However, most people use the term “non denominational wedding officiant” to mean an officiant who is non-religious or who doesn’t officiate weddings under a religion. In this case, the term “secular” (meaning non-religious) is probably more accurate than non denominational (meaning religious, but not under a specific religious denomination).

All of the wedding officiants at Young Hip & Married would fall under the non denominational or secular category: regardless of their personal beliefs or any faith-based organizations they may be a part of, all of our officiants will joyfully marry couples of any, all and no faiths. Religion is never included in a Young Hip & Married wedding ceremony unless requested by the couple. 

Civil wedding officiant VS non denominational wedding officiant: What’s the difference? 

What is the difference between a civil wedding officiant and a non denominational wedding officiant? Both would perform non religious ceremonies, or ceremonies not under a specific sect of a religion.

However a civil officiant is usually a government official, like a marriage commissioner or Justice of the Peace. They generally have less freedom and flexibility with their ceremonies, such as only being allowed to officiate in certain locations or having to say specific things in their ceremony script.

Find out what the difference is between a marriage commissioner and a wedding officiant!

A non denominational officiant is usually independent – i.e. not employed by the government – giving them more freedom, flexibility and creativity to personalize your ceremony. While they may be licensed under a religious organization, if they are non denominational or secular, they should be able to officiate a wedding without any religious aspects.

Can we still include aspects of our religions into a non denominational wedding ceremony?

Absolutely! At Young Hip & Married, our wedding officiants love blending different languages, cultures, religions and beliefs to ensure your ceremony is personalized to you two and your loved ones. Because our officiants come from a non denominational and secular starting point, any religious inclusions would be requested by you and welcomed by your officiant.

With our Creative & Custom wedding package, your officiant will design a ceremony that tells your story and represents who you are. You can incorporate prayers, readings, unity ceremonies and so much more!

If it’s important to you to include your religious beliefs in your ceremony, make sure you talk with your officiant about this ahead of time. They should be receptive and supportive of your ideas and help to make sure your ceremony is as meaningful as possible.

Can we get married in a church with a non denominational wedding officiant?

It depends. If you are getting married in a non denominational church or non denominational religious institution, they will likely have officiants connected with their organization who can marry you. If you’d like to bring in your own officiant but still get married under the church or on their property, you’d have to speak with the church leaders.

If the church or religious institution you’ve selected is under a specific denomination, they are less likely to allow officiants from outside of that denomination to marry you. If it’s important to you to get married there, speak with the church leaders to see what accommodations can be made or if there’s any flexibility with the ceremony script they usually use.

Planning a civil wedding ceremony? 7 reasons to choose a non denominal officiant for your wedding ceremony: 

Training & professionalism: Non denominational wedding officiants usually have to undergo specific training on how to officiate weddings, separate from any government or religious training. They are usually experienced officiants with many weddings under their belt.

And if they belong to a larger organization (like Young Hip & Married) they will have a dedicated customer service team behind them to assist in your booking and a talented pool of back-up officiants, should an emergency arise on your wedding day.

Customization: When an officiant isn’t bound to a specific religious or government ceremony script, they are able to customize the ceremony to you. This may mean incorporating your own faith, the faiths of your families, your beliefs and spirituality, or no mention of religion at all.

Flexibility: Wedding officiants can offer more flexibility to couples. Instead of only being able to marry couples inside a church, at a courthouse or within a few miles of home, our wedding officiants will hike, bike, canoe, helicopter ride and sail to wherever you want to tie the knot!

Focus on you: A non denominational officiant can focus on what’s important to you – not what a religious organization thinks is important. They can tell your love story and create a script based solely on you two.

Personalization: If you’re looking for a personalized experience for your wedding ceremony, a non denominational officiant is the way to go. From meeting you over coffee to hear about your love story and interviewing your friends and family to leading your rehearsal and officiating on the big day, your wedding officiant is going to create a ceremony experience that is reflective of who you are.

Creativity: Wedding officiants have the option to be more creative than marriage commissioners or religious officiants can be. Since they’re not tied to a specific script or setting, they can incorporate creative elements and design a completely custom ceremony. In your backyard in French? On the beach and featuring a surprise musical performance? At your local coffee shop with your favourite barista as your witness? Let’s do it!

Inclusivity: One of the reason why all of our Young Hip & Married officiants offer secular and non denominational ceremonies is because we want your wedding to be as inclusive as possible. We know many couples and their guests feel excluded by certain religions or in religious settings, and we want your wedding to be a welcoming and celebratory place for all!

Meet our team of non denominational wedding officiants and book your ceremony package today!