Category: Tips & Advice

With shows like Say Yes To The Dress and all of this focus on what couples will wear on their wedding day, it’s no wonder the wedding outfit shopping experience has become one of the key parts of planning a wedding. And while it may seem like it’s all beautiful dresses, perfect tuxes, and glasses of champagne on TV, wedding outfit shopping isn’t always so bright and bubbly. In fact, for some people, it’s a nightmare.

If, like most people, you struggle with body image and don’t feel you look like the “perfect bride” or “perfect groom,” you may be dreading the wedding outfit shopping experience. And honestly? That sucks. We want you to love your wedding outfit, how you feel in it and the experience you have finding it. You deserve that.

Body positivity and body neutrality

Before we jump into our tips, we want to take a second to talk about the terms body positivity and body neutrality. Sometimes the body positive movement can feel limiting. It can feel like you’re being forced to be super in love with your body and that you have to post a bikini or shirtless photo every day. Or it can feel exclusive, like the body positive movement is only reserved for certain “acceptable” bodies.

Body neutrality is not necessarily being in love with your body, but it’s being at peace with it. Some people prefer this term because it doesn’t force them to love their body, especially if they are dealing with something like a medical condition where it feels like their body is betraying them. Body neutrality also allows the focus to not always be on your body 100% of the time.

The bottom line for us: we want your wedding outfit shopping experience to be as comfortable and as joyful as possible for you, no matter what your body looks like or how you feel about it on any given day.

Here’s how to make that happen:

Recognize that it might not be like the movies

In the movies we see the model-like bride try on the first dress and come out looking like an angel while all of her friends clap and cry happy tears. We see the macho groom try on the tuxedo that fits him like a glove. But real life isn’t like the movies. You may not have that perfect experience where the first thing you try on fits perfectly. You may have to deal with sample sizes that don’t fit at all or the stress of shopping on top of all of your other wedding planning. It may not be a Hollywood movie and that’s perfectly okay.

Do your research

If you’re worried about wedding outfit shopping, do a little bit of research before you get out there. Look up shops online to see what sizes and styles they carry. Call ahead and double-check that the store can meet your requirements. Look for sales associates that will support you and not make you feel bad about yourself.

Prepare yourself before you shop

If even the idea of wedding outfit shopping is stressing you out, you’ll want to make sure you enter the shopping experience in a good head space. Take some time to meditate, do yoga, journal, treat yourself to something special, do a fun workout or anything else that makes you feel happy. Spend a little time in front of your mirror and get comfortable with that awesome reflection looking back at you. It may even help to repeat a body confident mantra to yourself.

Don’t resign yourself to limited options

You deserve to look and feel beautiful on your wedding day – no matter what your body does or doesn’t look like. You don’t have to accept that you only have four dresses to choose from or one style of blazer jacket because that’s what they happen to have at the first store. Keep looking; you will find what you want.

Be open-minded

On that same note, you may need to open your mind a little wider if you’re not finding what you want right away. Be open to trying on different styles or fabrics that you hadn’t considered before. Head to a shop you’ve never heard of. Or consider wedding outfit shopping in a different way by looking for your outfit online, second-hand or even getting it tailor-made.

Don’t change your body (unless you want to)

Ignore anyone who says you need to lose weight, remove your tattoos, get rid of your glasses, or any other nonsense. You are you and there’s absolutely nothing you need to change – especially not if you’re changing it because someone said you should. There is no one single ideal body type that we should all be striving for. You deserve to be happy, and happily married, however you look.

Don’t change your body (for the wedding)

If you do decide you want to change something about your body, please don’t do it for the wedding. None of these “shedding for the wedding” shenanigans! If you want to get healthy and get strong, that’s amazing. But don’t do it just for one day. That’s way too much pressure, during an already stressful season of wedding planning.

Do it because you want to live healthier and not because you’re trying to squeeze into a certain size. And please make sure you’re doing it in a healthy and sustainable way. Crash diets and miracle workouts are dangerous and not going to do you any favours in the long run.

Build your support squad

Only invite people to your wedding outfit shopping experience who will support you. Explain to your group what you want out of them and the mindset you’re trying to maintain. Don’t be afraid to take a smaller group or even go wedding outfit shopping solo. You don’t have to have a posse of friends and family with you to buy your wedding outfit.

Many sales associates and wedding outfit consultants have worked with brides and grooms who have body image worries. Let your consultant know how you’re feeling and let them offer their support. And if you’re ever feeling put down or judged by your consultant, don’t be afraid to speak up for yourself and find someone else who can help you.

It’s also nice to line up some support outside of wedding outfit shopping. If you know you’ll be exhausted after trying on suit jackets all day, line up a movie night with friends. Or if dealing with tulle and taffeta makes you panic, have a friend on speed dial who can calm you down and listen to you vent.

Stop comparing

Get off social media, put down the wedding magazines and stop glancing over at the other ladies and gents in the store trying on their wedding outfits. The focus is on you and your wedding outfit shopping. It’s about how you feel and how you want to look, even if it’s not exactly what you’ve seen on Pinterest. There is no one size or shape to get married.

Take a break if you need one

Wedding outfit shopping can be exhausting, both mentally and physically. You do not have to find your perfect outfit in one day or on one shopping trip. Check in with yourself throughout the process and take a break if you start to feel upset or overwhelmed. Your mental health, and making wedding outfit shopping comfortable and joyful, is the most important thing. Your Aunt Trudy will live if you don’t try on one more dress or one more pair of pants.

Don’t apologize

You never need to apologize for your body. Your body is not a reflection of your worth. You do not owe a sales associate, or your friends, or even your mom an explanation or an apology for why your body looks a certain way. Don’t be sorry if things don’t fit you right. Fashion is the problem, not you.

Remember: it’s not all about the outfit

Yes, the wedding outfit can be a big part of the wedding day for some couples. But remember: it’s not everything. And, more importantly, it’s not the reason why you’re getting married. Your partner would marry you if you showed up in a paper sack. They love you, regardless of what you look like in a veil or bow tie.

There’s a lot of media pressure to look a certain way and to spend all of this time and money on one small aspect of the wedding day. Give yourself permission to relieve that pressure. It’s not all about the dress or the tux or the pantsuit. It’s about you and your partner celebrating your love and commitment, and starting your married lives together.

What tips do you have to make wedding outfit shopping an amazing experience for all body types?
Let us know! 

written by Riana Ang-Canning

What is a friendor? It’s a friend that you hire as a vendor for your wedding. Many couples decide to bring on friendors because they see it as a great way to save money, involve their friends in their wedding day and get a personalized service. But friendors might not be as great as they sound.

Thinking of hiring a friend to do your flowers, play DJ or even officiate your ceremony? You may need to rethink that. Check out our 10 points below before you decide if friendors are the best choice for you.

They can’t legally do the job

In some cases, friendors won’t even be an option because they can’t legally do the job. For example, a friend who isn’t licensed to officiate cannot legally marry you. Unlike in the movies or certain states where people can get ordained online, the same isn’t true in Canada. So even if you did want a friend to marry you, it’s not possible if you want to be legally married.

They might know you, but they don’t know weddings

The best part about bringing on friendors is that these people already know you. You don’t have to spend time telling them what you like or how you met because they already know all of that. But do they know weddings?

Many friendors don’t have experience with weddings. If they take on the officiant role, for example, they may have no clue how to talk in front of a crowd of people. They won’t know to cue the DJ or look out for the wedding coordinator’s signal. They might get in the way of the photographer. And they might forget simple things like asking people to sit down or getting out of the way for the first kiss.

They’re not professionals

Many friendors are willing to take on a job at your wedding for free (or a deeply discounted price) because it’s not their full-time job. Perhaps they’re just learning how to take photos or they made a nice cake for your grandmother’s birthday that one time. As much as we want to support our friends in their new careers, side hustles and hobbies, ask yourself if your wedding is the best place for your friend to trial run their new photography or baking skills.

They could make it all about them

While this isn’t true of all friendors, many can see the role as an opportunity to make it all about them. For example, you may have a photographer-friendor who is too busy taking beautiful sunset photos of your venue for her portfolio to make time for the family portraits you wanted. Or maybe it’s a caterer-friendor who is trying to sell her services to another couple at your wedding instead of making sure dinner is served on time. Or perhaps it’s an officiant-friendor who decides the ceremony is the perfect time to make a bunch of jokes about her relationship with you instead of focusing on your relationship with your partner.

They can (and probably will) make mistakes

When you hire people who aren’t professionals and who don’t have experience, it’s likely they will make some mistakes. One of our officiants shared a story about a DJ-friendor experience gone wrong. The “DJ” couldn’t figure out how to get two microphones to work at the same time so our officiant had to turn hers off so the musician could use his. Of course, the musician forgot to turn his off after he was done and our officiant was left without a mic!

And you don’t even want to know how many times we’ve stood at the end of the aisle in complete silence because a DJ-friendor couldn’t figure out how to get the music started. Talk about uncomfortable!

What happens if you’re not happy?

So if you were working with a regular vendor and found that you were unhappy with their services, it would be fairly easy to write them an email or give them a call and let them know. You wouldn’t have to worry about offending them or hurting their feelings. But it’s a totally different case with friendors. It can be really awkward to tell your best friend that the cake he designed is nothing like what you wanted or to tell your cousin you don’t like the centerpieces she made.

Bringing up problems and requesting changes from friendors can be very uncomfortable. Many couples don’t bother and just go along with a service or product they’re not happy with. But do you want that for your wedding?

You can’t fire your friendors

It’s true: you can’t fire your friendors…without risking your friendships. Let’s say you decide to take a chance on your friend who is learning how to take photos. You do an engagement photo shoot with him and it’s awful. He’s unorganized, the shoot is uncomfortable and the photos are not your style at all. You’re not about to let this guy photograph your wedding. But what do you do? Do you fire him and risk losing him as a friend because he’s so hurt and insulted? Or do you suck it up and let him photograph your wedding knowing you’ll have bad photos?

Money and friendship don’t mix

They say that money and friendship don’t mix – and it’s true! Even splitting the check at brunch can be awkward if one person guzzled mimosa after mimosa and someone else just got a side of toast. But it can be even more awkward when you’re dealing with friendors. Many couples don’t even discuss the details of money with their friendors because it’s so uncomfortable. So you might be thinking you’re getting flowers for free while your friend may be planning to charge you 75% of her regular rate. What happens if you miss an invoice? Do you really want your best friend to have to send you a late payment reminder?

Your friends don’t get to have fun

When couples hire their friends as friendors, they often forget one big thing: you’re now asking your friend to work at your wedding. Instead of allowing them to enjoy themselves as a guest, your friend now has to do a job. They’re busy scrubbing dishes in the sink, packing up a van with vases or standing behind a computer when they should be eating great food, listening to speeches and partying on the dance floor.

There are lots of other ways to honour your friends

Weddings are full of roles and duties that can honour your closest friendships. So instead of hiring your buddy to be your officiant, why not ask him to be your MC? That way, he can tell more jokes and he doesn’t have to be licensed. You can also ask your friends to do readings, give toasts, host pre-wedding parties, usher, get ready with you the morning of, or join your wedding party.

And you can still get their help without hiring them as friendors! You can host a craft night and have your friends come over to help you with your DIY wedding decor (while downing a few bottles of wine). You can ask friends to help you do research, attend venue visits with you and help you create the seating chart.

But what happens if you do have a friend who has DJ-ed a few parties and has not so subtly implied that they could DJ your wedding, but you’re against hiring friendors? Let them know what you’re thinking early on so they’re not left wondering if they have the gig. Tell them that you want them to enjoy your wedding day and to celebrate with you, not spend all night behind a computer with headphones on. Ask them for recommendations, since they likely know some awesome DJs. You don’t have to get into the fact that you don’t think they’re experienced enough or that you hate their taste in music. You just have to let them know that you value them as a friend more than you do as a friendor.

How do you feel about friendors? Let us know! 

written by Riana Ang-Canning
featured image by Erica Miller Photography

Last week we gave you six reasons to ditch the wedding party. But we know that going sans wedding party isn’t for everyone. Some people want to stand up there with their bridesmaids, groomsmen and other attendants – and that’s totally awesome! If you want to have a wedding party, we think you should do it. But we also think you should make your wedding party experience as stress free, straight forward and super fun as possible.

Here are seven tips to help you have the best wedding party experience!

Your wedding will never be as important to your wedding party as it is to you

This is so key. Seriously, go ahead and read that sentence again. There are a billion wedding blogs out there that will tell you that your wedding day is the most important day ever. And it might be – to you. It is not the most important day ever to everyone you know, including your wedding party. That doesn’t mean your wedding party attendants don’t care about you and your day. Of course they do, or else they wouldn’t have agreed to be in your party. But it does mean your wedding won’t always be priority #1 and that is okay.

Set expectations early

We are firm believers in communicating clearly and setting expectations. So many conflicts in relationships come about when these two things aren’t done. When you ask someone to join your wedding party, let them know exactly what that means to you. Do you want them to attend your bachelor/bachelorette party in Vegas? Are you expecting them to host a shower for you? Do you need them to pay for their own outfit?

If you can communicate your ideas clearly from the start, your friends will be able to prepare and make informed decisions. It will also save you a lot of disappointment when no one plans a shower for you because you didn’t make it clear you were expecting one.

It’s an honour, not a job

Remember how we told you to set expectations? Well, those are your ideas and wants, not strict requirements. When you ask someone to join your wedding party, you are honouring them with a title and a position. You are telling them they are so important to you that you want them standing next to you on your big day. You are not hiring them to do a job. Bridesmaids and groomsmen are not required to spend all of their free time and disposable income on your wedding (remember, it’s not their #1 priority). You can ask someone to be in your wedding party and explain to them what that looks like to you. But you can’t dictate how they spend their time and money.

If you want someone to throw you a party, hire a party planner. If you want handmade favours, buy them from Etsy. Don’t force jobs on your wedding party (especially since you’re not paying them!).

Your wedding party cannot read your mind

Actually, no one can read your mind. This is another lesson in clear communication. Let’s say for example a bride has asked her bridesmaids to organize her bridal shower. Her bridesmaids consist of her best friend from college who lives across the country, her fiance’s little sister and her cousin, who mom insisted had to be in the wedding. None of these ladies have ever met one another. And none of them know what the bride wants in a shower. They don’t have a clue who to invite, they don’t know when she’s free, they have no idea what kind of cake to get, etc.

You see the problem, right? Sadly, there are countless wedding parties dealing with this exact problem right now. We can’t expect our friends to read our minds, even if they are our besties. Instead, why not tell your wedding party what you want out of a shower? Take responsibility for an event being thrown for you and, more importantly, take responsibility for your own happiness. You’ll definitely enjoy a shower you got to give input on much more than one your wedding party planned in the dark.

Don’t talk wedding 24/7

If every phone call, text, email and in-person chat you’ve had with someone in your wedding party in the last three months has started with, “So for the wedding…” you have a problem. Your wedding might be on your mind 24/7 but that’s not true for your wedding party. Give your friends a break from the wedding and hang out like you used to before you got engaged. If all you talk about is your wedding for 12+ months, you’ll come home after the honeymoon and realize you don’t have any friendships left.

Try starting your next conversation with a wedding party attendant by asking about their life. Or go out to a movie or concert. Ban the word “wedding” from your conversation and remember why you like this person and why you asked them to be in your party in the first place.

Break the mould

Who says a wedding party has to be made up of 10 identical female bridesmaids and 10 identical male groomsmen who stand at the altar and take photos with you? No one! If that doesn’t sound like your friend group and isn’t what you want, we encourage you to break the mould.

Your wedding party does not need to be gendered; male attendants can stand on the bride’s side and vice versa. It also doesn’t need to be perfectly balanced; one partner can have five attendants while the other has three. You can even change up the traditional role of the wedding party. Want them to walk down the aisle but not stand at the altar? Sounds good, they can take a seat. As we always say, it’s your wedding, your way.

Prioritize your relationships over the wedding

At Young Hip & Married, we believe you should be investing more in your lifetime marriage than in your one day wedding. Your marriage relationship is way more important than any one day. And the same is true of the relationships you have with your wedding party.

We’ve all heard the horror stories of lifelong friendships being ruined because of wedding party drama. Don’t let that happen to you and your friends. Your relationships are so much more important than a missed fitting appointment or poorly planned bachelor party. Remember, these are your closest people – that’s why you asked them to be in your wedding party. Don’t lose them over a one day event.

What tips do you have to ensure all goes well with the wedding party? 

written by Riana Ang-Canning
feature image by Emily Nicole Photos

Back in our parents’ day, it wasn’t really a wedding unless the bride had her gaggle of girlfriends lined up as bridesmaids in pink tafetta dresses and the groom had his bunch of bros lined up as groomsmen in rented tuxes. The wedding party was non-negotiable. But these days, things are different. Many couples are choosing to ditch the wedding party.

Now, we’re not saying you must ditch the wedding party. If you’re set on standing up there with your besties, go for it! We’ll even have some tips for you in a future blog post. But if you’re on the fence and thinking about saying no to the wedding party, we totally have your back.

Here are six reasons why you may want to go no wedding party.

Your wedding is about you two

Your wedding is all about you and your partner. It’s about the two of you becoming spouses, sharing your love for one another and starting your lives together. If you think about it, isn’t it kind of funny that your sorority sister and best friend from third grade are standing behind you while you vow to love and cherish your soulmate forever? They’re not committing to each other – so why are they up there? If you choose to ditch the wedding party, all eyes will be on you and your boo, as it should be.

You don’t have to rank your friends

One of the blessings of going no wedding party is not having to rank your friends. Now of course, assembling a wedding party isn’t actually grading and ranking friendships. But it can kind of feel like it, right? You do have to sit down and decide which friends are making the cut and who is going to be elevated to the coveted Maid of Honour or Best Man position. Unfortunately, there are often hurt feelings when certain friends join the wedding party and others do not. Avoid all of that when you ditch the wedding party!

Less drama

Let’s be honest: no wedding party = no drama! You don’t have to deal with a bunch of people’s opinions about what style dress or what colour tie looks best. You don’t have to try and coordinate a million schedules to get to outfit fittings. You don’t have to deal with the headache when your cousin and friend from work can’t see eye to eye on the bachelor party. Ditch the wedding party and you’ll have way less stress and way less hastle, which will always be welcomed in the middle of wedding planning.

Less time and money for you

One of the best ways to cut down on your wedding budget is to cut down or completely ditch the wedding party. Even if your party is paying for their own outfits, there’s still many expenses you’ll have to shell out for. You might be paying for the rehearsal dinner, hair and make-up, shoes, hotel stays, meals, salon visits, gifts and more. If you have a large wedding party, these costs can add up quick! And don’t forget about all the time you will save not picking out wedding party outfits, responding to countless group messages and emails, meeting up for fittings, etc.

Less time and money for your friends

Not only is deciding to ditch the wedding party a time and money saver for you, it’s also a HUGE time and money saver for your friends. The average wedding party attendant is paying for an engagement party gift, shower gift, wedding gift, pre-wedding parties, their wedding outfit, their shoes, their hair/makeup/salon visit, their hotel room, their travel expenses, and a few other things in between. On top of all of that money, they’re also spending a lot of their time going to outfit fittings, doing alterations, planning parties, hosting parties, buying gifts, and shopping for a shoe in that particular shade of navy you all agreed on but is impossible to fine.

Don’t worry! You can still have your friends with you

You might be thinking, “But if I ditch the wedding party, I’m going to be all alone! Who is going to get ready with me on the morning of the wedding? Who will come to my bachelor/bachelorette party?” Your friends! Just because you’re opting out on the wedding party doesn’t mean you can’t hang out with your friends. Invite your besties to get ready with you the morning of the wedding. They’ll feel privileged to be hanging out with the man/woman of the hour and there will be no stress since they’re just guests. And you can still have all of the pre-wedding parties you want. Just talk to your friends and/or family members and tell them what you’d like to do.

If you’re worried about your friends not feeling special, you shouldn’t be. If you ditch the wedding party, no one will feel left out because there’s nothing they’re being left out of. The wedding party simply doesn’t exist! Plus, you can still honour your friends by giving them special wedding day jobs such as signing the licence, giving a speech or doing a reading.

Would you ditch the wedding party? Let us know! 

written by Riana Ang-Canning
feature image by Erica Miller Photography

One of the big topics couples tackle when planning their wedding and preparing for marriage is what to do about their last name. Back in the day, it was a no brainer that the wife would adopt the husband’s last name (and sometimes even his first name, being known as Mrs. John Doe).

But these days, there’s not such a simple answer. Some brides don’t want to take their husband’s last name. And sometimes, there isn’t a bride at all or there are two brides! So what’s the answer for modern couples when it comes to the last name question?

Turns out, there isn’t one easy answer. You’ve got options.

Keep your own last name

Many modern couples are choosing to forgo all the fuss and paperwork of changing their last names by simply not. Both members of the couple will keep their given last names and go on like that. Of course, you don’t need a common last name to be properly married to someone; it’s not mandatory to change to one last name. So with this option you save time on paperwork and changing all of your ID, and you don’t have to decide on one last name over the other.

However, one question that comes up when a couple goes this route is what to do when they have children. If you’re planning to both keep your last names and welcome children in the future, you will have to decide what to do with their last names. So when it comes to the kids, you’ll have to pick from one of the last name options below. Of course, if you’re not planning on children, this is an easy one!

Adopt one partner’s last name

The most common option is to adopt one person’s last name as the shared last name for both of you. And no, it doesn’t necessarily have to be the man’s last name if you’re in a hetero couple.

The feminist and equal opportunity choice would be to consider both partners’ last names equally. Both last names should be on the table and a discussion should be had between the partners. If you’re in a hetero couple, it shouldn’t be assumed that the man will keep his last name and the woman can choose to take it or not. The choice should be between both last names and both partners possibly making the switch.

Perhaps one partner is more connected to their last name. Maybe they have deep family ties, a strong connection to their heritage or can trace their name back over many generations. It’s a tough conversation to have, but an important one. Both partners should be happy with the last name they settle on. And for the person who does make the switch, they can still preserve their given last name by adding it to their middle name or even using it as their child’s name.

Get all of the paperwork you need to change your last name for just $39! 

For just $39 (as of Jun 2023, check the website for the most up to date prices), you’ll be able to choose from a list of over 750 government agencies and companies, received personalized forms and letters, and have everything you need to easily and quickly change your name.

Check out Easy Name Change to get started!

Hyphenate

One way to include both last names is to hyphenate. Yes, it makes both of your names longer, but it also ensures you’re both equally represented. It’s a good compromise and a nice way to bring both of your identities into your married names.

Hyphenating is a more modern choice. When it first came around, it seemed to be an option that only the wife (in hetero marriages) and possibly the children would adopt – the wife would hyphenate but her husband would not. But these days, we’re liking that both members of the couple are considering and adopting a hyphenated last name.

The only problem we can foresee? What happens if someone with a hyphenated given name marries someone else with a hyphenated given name? Do they hyphenate again and have four last names? When does the madness end!?! (We’re kidding, of course. After four last names, we believe you should look into some other options.)

Find a new last name

This is a very cool and new option for couples. Instead of picking one person’s last name, keeping their own or hyphenating, they just decide on a brand new last name! It’s actually a fun bonding experience to come up with a new name to start your married life together.

Some ways to find a good last name include going through both of your family trees and finding a last name common to both of you. You could also choose to honour a deceased family member by adopting their name. Or you could choose to go with a maternal last name in your family, as those often die off when women take their husbands’ names. A fun option? Morphing your names together! For example, Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley could be the Pottleys!

Remember: the only right answer to the last name question is what works for you two. We love that we live in a time and a place where there are options when it comes to changing or not changing your last name. But of course, more options also makes choosing the right one more difficult. But just like your ceremony, your last name should represent the two of you and feel true to who you are.

What are you thinking of doing with your last name?

Check out all of our marriage licence and certificate posts:

• Signing Your Marriage Licence: What You Need to Know
• The Ultimate Guide to Wedding Ceremony Signing Tables
• BC Marriage Licence FAQs
• How to Find a Licensed Wedding Officiant in BC
• Everything You Need to Know About BC Marriage Licences & Certificates
• Everything You Need to Know About Ontario Marriage Licences & Certificates
• Everything You Need to Know About Alberta Marriage Licences & Certificates
• What’s in a Last Name?
• How to Change Your Last Name in BC After You’re Married
• How to Change Your Last Name in Ontario After You’re Married
• How to Change Your Last Name in Oregon After Marriage

written by Riana Ang-Canning
feature image by Erica Miller Photography

One of the big guest list decisions couples have to make is deciding whether your wedding is going to be family friendly or adults only. Is it a kid-full or kid-free event?

Back in the day, you wouldn’t think twice about inviting the kids because the entire wedding would be hosted by the bride’s family, likely at their own home, so of course the children would attend. But in recent years, we’ve seen lots of weddings sans kids that are just as fun and full of love. It all comes down to the type of party you want to throw, the important people in your life and what kind of compromises you want to make.

So is it a yay or nay to kids at your wedding?

YAY: It’s easier for parents to bring their kids

For parents, it’s easier for them to bring their kids to the wedding. That way, they don’t have to arrange for sitters or bail on the wedding to stay home with their kids. This is especially true if the family is traveling to make it to your nuptials. Not many parents are able to leave their kids for a week or a weekend just to attend a wedding.

NAY: It’s a date night for the parents

On the other hand, making your wedding adults-only is a great excuse for parents to have a much-needed date night. At adult-only weddings, it’s often the parents who are making the most out of it – hitting the open bar, going nuts in the photo booth and partying on the dance floor. Bonus points if you arrange for babysitters to make it that much easier for parents to say yes.

YAY: Your favourite kiddos can be a part of the wedding

If you have important kids in your life, maybe you’re an aunt, uncle or parent yourself, having a kid-friendly wedding means you can incorporate those kiddos in the day. You can invite them to be a part of the wedding party as ring bearers, flower girls, junior bridesmaids/groomsmen, etc. They can be involved in special dances or even giving toasts. What’s sweeter than a little kid giving a toast to the newlyweds?

NAY: You don’t have to deal with kids

One of the biggest pros of not having kids at your wedding is not having to deal with them. You know what we’re talking about! That means you don’t have to deal with crying or temper tantrums (as long as your adult guests behave). You don’t have to watch kids running around the venue. You don’t have to worry about a flower girl eating the petals or a ring bearer losing the ring. You can have some uncensored adult fun without worrying about any young innocent eyes watching.

YAY: It creates a family-friendly atmosphere

If your wedding is all about family, it can be really nice to invite the kids. It helps to keep the vibe casual and comfortable. Plus, it means parents and kids don’t have to split up. If you’re going for a cozy and comfortable vibe, keeping kids on the guest list might be the way to go.

NAY: It’s cheaper

The best way to cut down on wedding costs is to cut down on the guest list. So opting to go kids-free can sometimes save you a significant amount of money. That’s less mouths to feed, less drinks to buy, fewer tables to rent and decorate, no kids’ activities to buy to entertain them, etc. It also frees up space if there were other adults you wanted to invite.

The Exception: Nursing babies

If you choose to go kids-free at your wedding, we totally support you. But we do think you should make an exception for nursing moms and babies. Yes, these young babies can cry and make noise, which isn’t what you’re after for your adults-only event. But remember, they don’t take up a seat and they won’t count as a number for your caterer. So they won’t cost you anything extra. And it’s hard to ask parents to leave a nursing baby at home, especially if mom is their food source. So make an exception for the littlest humans. You’ll appreciate this ruling if you become a parent one day.

In the end, you should do what works best for you and your partner and the wedding you envision. If you do plan to say nay to kids, make sure this is very clear on your wedding website, invites, save the dates, etc. Parents need lots of time to prepare in advance. If you feel rude saying “no kids” try alternate wording such as “adults-only affair,” “parents’ night off” or “18+ event.” You may also want to go the extra mile and research some local babysitting options or hire a sitter to watch the kids – this is especially nice if it’s a destination wedding and families are traveling to be there.

And lastly, prepare yourself to have some families decline. Some parents won’t be able to or won’t want to leave their kids at home. Respect their decision as they’ve respected yours to keep your wedding adults-only.

Are you planning to have kids at your wedding?

written by Riana Ang-Canning

Sorry to break it to you. But your wedding night? Yeah, might not be that big of a deal.

Shocking, right? There’s all this build up for the wedding night. We hear about women buying special wedding night lingerie. Bridesmaids are supposed to sneak up to the room and decorate with candles and rose petals. Groomsmen tease the groom about finally sealing the deal.

But turns out that real life doesn’t always match our expectations (or sex-pectations, in this case). Your wedding night might not be this huge romantic, intimate, sexual experience. And you know what? That’s totally okay. It’s actually really normal.

You’ve already sealed the deal

Most modern day couples getting married are not strangers to intimate bedroom relations. Most couples don’t wait until their wedding night to have sex for the very first time. In fact, most couples already live together and share a bed before their wedding night. That’s not to say that sex on your wedding night can’t be exciting or special, but for most couples it’s not a brand new experience.

You’re exhausted

You know how you’re going to feel when you get up to your hotel room after your wedding? Tired. You’re going to feel absolutely beat. You just spent an entire day playing host at the longest party of your life. You had to wake up at the crack of dawn to get ready. You had to pose for pictures all day. You had to smile and chat with relatives you haven’t seen in years. And you had to boogie on the dance floor right until the very end. Your wedding day might be one of the longest days of your life. You’ve had to be “on” all day long and interacting with so many different people. You might pass out before you even get to the bed.

There’s so much pressure

Remember all that build up for the wedding night? Yeah, all that does is add a ton of extra pressure. It’s weird to know that so many people are expecting you to have sex. You may have gotten some winks on your way up the elevator. Perhaps a groomsman slipped you a condom as a joke. And it turns out all of that pressure to make your wedding night extra special and intimate is actually not helpful at all. Pressure is never sexy.

You have other priorities

In the movies, the bride and groom can’t wait to rip each other’s clothes off once they get to their hotel room. But you might have something else in mind. Food, for example. Sadly, couples often don’t get to eat too much of their delicious catering because they’re so busy mingling. So instead of making out with your brand new spouse, you might be calling room service, diving into leftover wedding cake or sending him/her out to pick up a pizza.

You’re on a schedule

These days, the wedding doesn’t just end when the couple exits the ceremony. It doesn’t even end when the couple leaves the reception. Many weddings are full on weekend affairs. Instead of heading up to your room for some sexy time, you may be hosting an after party at a bar nearby. Or maybe you have to wake up early to host a post-wedding brunch. Or maybe you’re stuck cleaning up your venue because it has to be spotless in order for you to get your deposit back. Wedding night sex doesn’t always make the final schedule.

You have the rest of your life

Many couples panic if they don’t have sex on their wedding night. They wonder if they did something wrong. Let us be clear: Not having sex on your wedding night doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t mean you’ll never have sex now that you’re married. It doesn’t mean you love your partner any less. And it doesn’t even make you an anomaly, since many couples forgo the deed on their big night. It simply means you’re a normal human. You’ve got the rest of your life, and hopefully a very relaxing and romantic honeymoon, to have sex. Don’t worry.

written by Riana Ang-Canning

To get married, all you need is yourself, a willing partner, someone who can marry you (like us!), witnesses and an Ontario marriage licence. That’s it! Everything else, like the four-tier cake or cathedral length veil, is totally optional.

Most couples getting married have no trouble finding flowers, favours and friends to stand by their side. But when it comes to licences and certificates, they’re stumped. How does that whole legal part of the marriage actually work? How do you get your Ontario marriage licence and certificate? 

Don’t worry. We’ve got your back!

Here’s everything you need to make sure you’re actually getting legally married in Ontario:

Marriage Licence VS Certificate?

Before we get into the nitty-gritty, let’s quickly pause to explain the difference between the marriage licence and the marriage certificate.

The marriage licence is the piece of paper you bring to your ceremony and sign with your officiant and witnesses. You need this to legally get married. The marriage certificate is the piece of paper you receive after your ceremony that says you are legally wed.

Got it? Great, let’s move on.

How to Get Married in Ontario: Obtaining Your Ontario Marriage Licence

You must obtain your Ontario marriage licence; your officiant can’t get this for you. Neither can your mom, your wedding planner of your best friend. This one is on you.

You must obtain your marriage licence in the province in which you are getting married. Not the province where you live (if it’s different from where you’re getting married). Not your favourite province. Not the province where marriage licences are the cheapest. If you live in Saskatchewan, vacation in PEI and are getting married in Ontario, you have to obtain your licence in Ontario.

Your Ontario marriage licence is valid for 90 days. Licences must be applied for in person by one member of the couple (if the application was filled out and signed by both and the one member has valid ID for both members) or by both members. The marriage licence application can be filled out online, printed, signed and brought in person. Marriage licence costs vary by municipality; you can call around to find the best price.

To find a municipality, click here.

For more info on the marriage licence in Ontario, click here.

For information on applying for a marriage licence in Toronto (can be used anywhere in Ontario), click here.

The Ceremony

You MUST bring your Ontario marriage licence to your wedding ceremony. Pro tip: keep your wedding rings with your marriage licence so you don’t forget it! Leading up to your wedding, your officiant may ask you for some information they’ll need to complete your marriage licence. Read over your licence and ensure you have all of the info you need – for example, do you know where your parents were born? Cause the licence is going to ask you.

After the Ceremony

Phew! You did it. You got married. Congrats! Here’s what happens with your marriage licence once it has been signed by you, your officiant and your witnesses on the big day.

Your officiant will send your signed Ontario marriage licence and all other paperwork to the provincial body where marriages need to be registered. You don’t need to worry about registering your marriage – we’ll do that for you!

Receiving Your Marriage Certificate

To receive your marriage certificate, you must order it. No marriage certificate or other marriage documents will be automatically sent to you if you got married in Ontario.

To order your marriage certificate, you’ll need to wait 8-10 weeks after your wedding date as this is how long it takes for your marriage to be registered and paperwork processed. After the 8-10 weeks, you can order your marriage certificate through Service Ontario. The easiest way to apply for your marriage certificate is online, but you can also apply in person through emergency service, by fax or by mail.

Your order for your marriage certificate is processed within 15 days (or faster if you apply for premium service). The basic marriage certificate costs $15, with additional fees for premium service, emergency service or the long form version of the certificate.

For more info on marriage certificates in Ontario, including the link to apply online and details for other ways to apply, click here.

Changing Your Last Name

If you’re interested in changing your last name following your wedding, check out this site for some more information about how the process works in Ontario.

Get all of the paperwork you need to change your last name for just $39! 

For just $39 (as of Jun 2023, check the website for the most up to date prices), you’ll be able to choose from a list of over 750 government agencies and companies, received personalized forms and letters, and have everything you need to easily and quickly change your name.

Check out Easy Name Change to get started!  

Any Other Questions?

If you have any other questions about your specific circumstances or the Ontario marriage licence and certificate process, please contact the following:

Ontario: https://www.ontario.ca/page/getting-married

If you are an international citizen, please contact your consulate for specific information. If you are getting married in another province/country, please contact the marriage licensing body in that area.

written by Riana Ang-Canning

Get in touch to book your Ontario wedding. See you at the ceremony (with your marriage licence in hand)!

PS: Getting married in Alberta or BC? Check out our marriage licence and certificate guides for those provinces. 

Check out all of our marriage licence and certificate posts:

• Signing Your Marriage Licence: What You Need to Know
• The Ultimate Guide to Wedding Ceremony Signing Tables
• BC Marriage Licence FAQs
• How to Find a Licensed Wedding Officiant in BC
• Everything You Need to Know About BC Marriage Licences & Certificates
• Everything You Need to Know About Ontario Marriage Licences & Certificates
• Everything You Need to Know About Alberta Marriage Licences & Certificates
• What’s in a Last Name?
• How to Change Your Last Name in BC After You’re Married
• How to Change Your Last Name in Ontario After You’re Married
• How to Change Your Last Name in Oregon After Marriage