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As experienced wedding officiants here at Young Hip & Married, we’ve been to a lot of wedding ceremonies. And one of our favourite ways to personalize a ceremony is with a wedding ceremony reading. Choosing the words that will represent your union can bring a lot of meaning and personality to your day.

Traditionally, wedding ceremony readings are passages from a biblical text that are read aloud during the ceremony. However, nowadays it’s totally fine to pick a reading that speaks to you and honours your relationship, whether that be from a religious text or not. Hey, we even know a couple who had a reading from Seinfeld delivered at their wedding!

The options for wedding ceremony readings are endless and it can be a little overwhelming to select one. Below we list ten of our favourite readings you may not have heard before. But at the end of the day, you should pick a reading that resonates with you as a couple, even if that means asking your brother to come up to the podium and recite the lyrics to a ACDC song. If it means something to you and your partner, it’s the perfect choice for your wedding!

If you’ve been through a lot but are stronger because of it:

“Scaffolding” by Seamus Heaney

Masons, when they start upon a building,
Are careful to test out the scaffolding;

Make sure that planks won’t slip at busy points,
Secure all ladders, tighten bolted joints.

And yet all this comes down when the job’s done
Showing off walls of sure and solid stone.

So if, my dear, there sometimes seem to be
Old bridges breaking between you and me

Never fear. We may let the scaffolds fall
Confident that we have built our wall.

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If you want to extend past the traditional vows:

“The Art of Marriage” by Wilferd A. Peterson

The little things are the big things.
It is never being too old to hold hands.
It is remembering to say “I love you” at least once a day.

It is never going to sleep angry.
It is at no time taking the other for granted;
the courtship should not end with the honeymoon,
it should continue through all the years.

It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.
It is standing together facing the world.
It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.
It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice,
but in the spirit of joy.

It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating
gratitude in thoughtful ways.
It is not expecting the husband to wear a halo or the wife to have wings of an angel.
It is not looking for perfection in each other.

It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humor.
It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.
It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.

It is finding room for the things of the spirit.
It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.
It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal.
It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner.

If “in sickness and health” sounds too dreary for you:

“Invitation to Love” by Paul Laurence Dunbar

Come when the nights are bright with stars
Or come when the moon is mellow;
Come when the sun his golden bars
Drops on the hay-field yellow.
Come in the twilight soft and gray,
Come in the night or come in the day,
Come, O love, whene’er you may,
And you are welcome, welcome.

You are sweet, O Love, dear Love,
You are soft as the nesting dove.
Come to my heart and bring it to rest
As the bird flies home to its welcome nest.

Come when my heart is full of grief
Or when my heart is merry;
Come with the falling of the leaf
Or with the redd’ning cherry.
Come when the year’s first blossom blows,
Come when the summer gleams and glows,
Come with the winter’s drifting snows,
And you are welcome, welcome.

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Photo by Emily Nicole Photography

If you want your marriage to be #blessed:

“Blessing for a Marriage” by James Dillet Freeman

May your marriage bring you all the exquisite excitements a marriage should bring, and may life grant you also patience, tolerance, and understanding.
May you always need one another – not so much to fill your emptiness as to help you to know your fullness. A mountain needs a valley to be complete; the valley does not make the mountain less, but more; and the valley is more a valley because it has a mountain towering over it. So let it be with you and you.

May you need one another, but not out of weakness.
May you want one another, but not out of lack.
May you entice one another, but not compel one another.
May you embrace one another, but not out encircle one another.
May you succeed in all important ways with one another, and not fail in the little graces.
May you look for things to praise, often say, “I love you!” and take no notice of small faults.

If you have quarrels that push you apart, may both of you hope to have good sense enough to take the first step back.

May you enter into the mystery which is the awareness of one another’s presence – no more physical than spiritual, warm and near when you are side by side, and warm and near when you are in separate rooms or even distant cities.
May you have happiness, and may you find it making one another happy.
May you have love, and may you find it loving one another.

If you’re a real romantic:

“Love Sonnet XVII” by Pablo Neruda

I don’t love you as if you were a rose of salt, topaz,   
or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:   
I love you as one loves certain obscure things,   
secretly, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that doesn’t bloom but carries   
the light of those flowers, hidden, within itself,   
and thanks to your love the tight aroma that arose   
from the earth lives dimly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,   
I love you directly without problems or pride:
I love you like this because I don’t know any other way to love,
except in this form in which I am not nor are you,   
so close that your hand upon my chest is mine,   
so close that your eyes close with my dreams.

Photo by Haley Ray
Photo by Haley Ray

If you can’t wait to grow old together:

“Glaucoma” by Rives

When you and I
are old and grey…

I’ll have a belly,
a hound dog named Shakespeare
and a pickup truck.

You will have
a pretty cotton dress
and glaucoma,
which will steal your sight.
And you’ll stand on our porch in the morning
with your face to the sky,
and I’ll come outside
with the birdseed or something, going:
“Whoa, whoa, baby–don’t stare
right into the sun like that!”

And you’ll say:
“Oh, you old poop!
I may be blind, but I’m not a dope…
I’m a heliotrope.
That’s a fancy word for sunflower,
if you don’t remember!”

And I’ll go:
“Awwwww–I know heliotrope, hell…
I invented it!”

And then I’ll whisper: “Hey.
The yonder is just as wild and blue
as people say it is today.
And you can’t see, but…
I haven’t done yard work for weeks.
The crabgrass is practically piggyback
on the buttercups, Buttercup,
but I love you. I love you.
And I’m gonna keep you mine
like a crow loved to hold
an old telephone line, remember those?”

And you’ll say:
“What, crows?”

And I’ll go:
“Nahhh–telephone lines.
Remember? Back in the days
when the bedding was yours
but the bed was mine.
You remember that, Sunshine?”

And then I’ll shuffle back indoors,
bent but still feisty,
and I’ll do what I always do.

I’ll lie on the floor
with a scrap, and a pen,
I’ll write a poem,
describe the rest of the day for you

you blind, old…

If you want something religious but not from the Bible:

“Wedding Hymn” by Sidney Lanier

Thou God, whose high, eternal Love
Is the only blue sky of our life,
Clear all the Heaven that bends above
The life-road of this man and wife.
May these two lives be but one note
In the world’s strange-sounding harmony,
Whose sacred music e’er shall float
Through every discord up to Thee.
As when from separate stars two beams
Unite to form one tender ray:
As when two sweet but shadowy dreams
Explain each other in the day:
So may these two dear hearts one light
Emit, and each interpret each.
Let an angel come and dwell tonight
In this dear double-heart, and teach.

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Photo by Emily Nicole Photography

If you prefer something short and simple:

“The Gift” by Hafiz (excerpt)

Even
After
All this time
The sun never says
to the Earth,

“You owe me.”

Look
What happens
With a love like that,
It lights the whole sky.

If you’re childhood sweethearts:

“The History of Love” by Nicole Krauss (excerpt)

Once upon a time, there was a boy. He lived in a village that no longer exists, in a house that no longer exists, on the edge of a field that no longer exists, where everything was discovered, and everything was possible. A stick could be a sword, a pebble could be a diamond, a tree, a castle. Once upon a time, there was a boy who lived in a house across the field, from a girl who no longer exists. They made up a thousand games. She was queen and he was king. In the autumn light her hair shone like a crown. They collected the world in small handfuls, and when the sky grew dark, and they parted with leaves in their hair.

Once upon a time there was a boy who loved a girl, and her laughter was a question he wanted to spend his whole life answering.

If you’re a ride or die couple:

“Still Life with Woodpecker” by Tom Robbins (excerpt)

Love is the ultimate outlaw. It just won’t adhere to any rules. The most any of us can do is to sign on as its accomplice. Instead of vowing to honor and obey, maybe we should swear to aid and abet. That would mean that security is out of the question. The words “make” and “stay” become inappropriate. My love for you has no strings attached. I love you for free.

Photo by tamdivad photography
Photo by tamdivad photography

Now that you have chosen the perfect wedding ceremony readings for your special day, it’s time to book your officiant. Get in touch today!

A typical conversation…..

Me: “I had a few weddings this week but many of them were very small weddings.”

Friend: “Small? Like how small?”

Me: “Oh, like a very small wedding: just the couple and a few witnesses (often just two).”

Friend (exasperated, sometimes visibly shocked!): “What!? Who gets married like that?!”

And although I’m sure my friend didn’t mean to sound snarky or judgmental, he did. I can’t help but get into my defense of the small wedding mode!

Most of us assume there is only a slight variation from the acceptable way to get married and a very small wedding is not a typical deviation. We only think of a few possible options: in a church or not, inside or outside, stand-up reception or dinner, many guests or more guests than you really want but: guilt.  Most of us have only ever been to these types of weddings.

Very few of us have ever been to a wedding with only the couple and a few witnesses.

The truth is, most of us haven’t had the privilege of being such a special guest.

We haven’t been there when two people are standing with their toes in the sand, sunshine on their faces, committing their lives to one another because that is what matters to them: making this life-long commitment.  

We haven’t all seen our sister and her fiance gather at city hall to tie the knot. Most of us aren’t privileged enough to be on the inside of something this intimate. And unfortunately, ignorance can breed confusion or even (*gasp!) judgement.

What matters to couples who have very small weddings is not the hoopla of fancy dresses, appetizers (newly renamed called ‘canapes’) and chalkboards telling people the washroom location. What matters to them is being (almost) alone with their partner, professing their love and being able to get married their way.  Many couples follow a very small wedding with a bigger dinner, BBQ or party – and some don’t.

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At Young Hip & Married, we refer to this type of wedding as an “elopement” – but it isn’t always an elopement in the typical “run away and secretly get married” way. In fact, it is most often not that at all.

Typically an elopement is chosen by a couple who simply want a small wedding for any number of reasons:

  • their families are very large, complicated or live far away
  • they don’t have $30,000 to spend on a big party for all their friends (or they don’t believe in spending that kind of money on one day)
  • they are very shy or don’t like being the center of attention (major fear for many)
  • they feel as though a big wedding distracts them from the real reason they are getting married (because they love their partner so much)
  • they have watched too many of their friends become complete stress balls for 15 months as they plan their wedding (you know you’ve seen it)

I myself was married at a typical wedding venue, in August, in front of 130 people. A very small wedding is not for everyone but they are very much for some.  

Many people feel it is important for their families to witness their wedding, others feel that having all their friends and family there is a tangible way for them to offer support to the new couple. Yes, these are great! One of the things I love most about being a wedding officiant is the variety of couples (and weddings they chose) that I get to work with.  We at Young Hip & Married, love big weddings and small weddings.  What we really want is you to get married YOUR WAY!

But if one of your friends, coworkers or even family members elopes, congratulate them, celebrate with them but don’t judge them for doing it differently than you!

(Photos courtesy of Rebecca Wilkowski and my sister’s city hall elopement)

Post by Officiant & Head Coach Jane Halton